Cats (2019)

Film: Cats (2019)
Stars: James Corden, Judi Dench, Jason Derulo, Idris Elba, Jennifer Hudson, Ian McKellen, Taylor Swift, Rebel Wilson, Francesa Hayward
Director: Tom Hooper
Oscar History: No nominations
Snap Judgment Ranking: 2/5 stars

The first Broadway play I saw was Promises, Promises starring Kristin Chenoweth and Sean Hayes.  It was a magical experience, one that set off a love affair with Broadway that continues to this day (every time I go to New York, I see 4-5 shows on the stage).  But a decade before that, I got my proper introduction to high-caliber productions when I was in London, and saw Cats in the West End (I still have my Playbill, and can see it from where I'm typing this).  I loved it-Cats would not go on to be one of my favorite plays, though thanks to buying a CD of the soundtrack I know every word of it (Phantom would be the musical that would dominate my young, closeted high school years), but it has a special place in my heart as a result of its introduction for me to the world of theater.  I have no problem with its nonsensical plot and occasionally bizarre musical numbers, and was one of the few people when the trailer arrived who wasn't prone to mockery (though I did think the digital fur was a step in the wrong direction).  As a result, I was going to see this movie no matter how bad the reviews were, as I wanted to relive the magic, if that was still possible, of the first time I saw this production.

(Spoilers Ahead) The plot of Cats is at once very easy to explain and rather confusing if you start asking questions.  Essentially, a group of cats get together each year and audition for Old Deuteronomy (Dench), an aging and wise cat, for a chance to, well, die, and be reborn as a new feline.  This year we have a variety of candidates, ranging from Gus the Theatre Cat (McKellen) to Jennyanydots (Wilson) to Bustopher Jones (Corden), but the clear frontrunner for the audience is the cat-in-the-shadows Grizabella (Hudson), who is seen as a former glamour cat by all except the new cat Victoria (Hayward), who sees her potential.  However, the wicked Macavity (Elba), threatens to upend the whole operation as he slowly kidnaps all of the cats who are competing so that Old Deuteronomy will be forced to pick him as the cat that gets a new life.  In the end, Macavity is punished for his wickedness, and Grizabella is sent off to start a new adventure in the next world, while Victoria joins the rest of the "Jellicle" cats in the streets, finally finding a family.

Here's where I am going to start the contrarian reviews-I didn't hate Cats, in the same way that I didn't hate the stage play.  I know it's been long fashionable to hate the latter, something that's going to quickly become true of the former, but I don't get the vitriol.  This is weird-something like Ford vs. Ferrari is a story that's particularly dreadful.  There are fun musical numbers in this film.  Obviously there's the "Memory" showstopper from Hudson, who is generally a questionable choice as an actor but can pull off great character work through song, and does so here.  But we also have a great tap number in "Skimbleshanks" and the infectious opening "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats," and I even liked what Jason Derulo did with "Rum Tum Tugger."  Cats is a musical that's more for dancing than it is for singing, something alien to our "park and bark" modern-era of cinematic musicals.

That said, there are definitley problems with the film.  Putting aside the bizarre sexualization of the cats, the CGI is clunky.  While there are moments (like Taylor Swift's descent during "Macavity") where the cats look pretty much perfectly in sync with the fur and their bodies, other times Jason Derulo & Francesca Hayward genuinely look like floating heads on the screen.  Any time we aren't singing we have a problem, as Wilson & Corden doing their schtick (which genuinely would work on me-I don't dislike them like Twitter seems to do) feels a bit too reliant on cat-to-human jokes and less on genuine humor.  The sound mixing is downright dreadful on a few numbers-when your orchestra is drowning out Jennifer freaking Hudson, there's a problem in the control room.  Worst of all is the direction-Hooper doesn't know how to adapt this to the real world in the way he's supposed to (this was a problem to a lesser degree with Les Miserables), and frequently it feels like a filmed play in the worst possible way.  The "Ad-Dressing of the Cats" is awful and he deserves to be on film probation for making Dame Judi Dench endure such a travesty, with her breaking the fourth wall and singing that clunky number with every audience member wondering if the film was about to end thanks to the poor pacing.

So I'm going with 2-stars.  I considered three because honestly there were moments I felt found the weird wonder of the "now and forever" Cats and I feel like the internet is being collectively unfair to the film by comparing it to a travesty like Battlefield Earth.  It's become clear that at this point every actor in this movie needs to get their agents on the phone fast and book a crowdpleaser, as this isn't just a "derided" movie, it's the kind that takes on John Travolta's career and throws it in the garbage.  But it's also not a good movie-the failings are there, even if it's not "the worst film ever made."  So should you see it?  I think it is the sort of film that should probably be seen to be believed, but if you know the stage show by heart you'll be entertained, though not surprised.

OVP: Jojo Rabbit (2019)

Film: Jojo Rabbit
Stars: Roman Griffin Davis, Thomas McKenzie, Taika Waititi, Rebel Wilson, Stephen Merchant, Alfie Allen, Sam Rockwell, Scarlett Johansson
Director: Taika Waititi
Oscar History: 6 nominations/1 win (Best Picture, Supporting Actress-Scarlett Johansson, Film Editing, Costume Design, Production Design, Adapted Screenplay*)
Snap Judgment Ranking: 3/5 stars

"Death is easy, comedy is hard" is a cliche, particularly one that associates itself with the Oscar season.  This is a bit unfair-death, cinematically-speaking can be hard too, but it's correct to assume that there are more tears cumulatively in the Best Picture lineups in Oscar's nine decades of existence than laughs.  Oscar generally shies away from comedies, and when he does go there, it's with a movie that has some sort of deeper meaning.  This is probably why Jojo Rabbit has so quickly caught on as an Oscar contender-it's comedy (occasionally quite funny), but it's one with a darker motif.  It's also the sort of film, similar to the movies of Mel Brooks and Wes Anderson, that you're either going to like or not like, and do so with a firm post in the ground.  Jojo, as I was leaving the theater, is the kind of movie I could see people quickly proclaiming "loved it-one of the year's best" and the person sitting next to them proclaiming "I HATED IT!" leading to tumultuous conversations on the car ride home; this might be the most "love it or hate it" film of the year, in fact.  What did I think of it, however?  Read on...

(Spoilers Ahead) The film is told almost completely (I can recall maybe one scene that doesn't include him) through the eyes of Jojo Betzler (Griffin Davis), a young, small boy who is bullied by his larger peers and is currently in a Hitler Youth camp.  Unlike what you'd expect from most films of this ilk, young Jojo adamantly believes in the Nazi cause, to the point where he's adopted "Hitler" as his imaginary friend (Waititi).  This Hitler, though, is the Hitler as imagined through the eyes of a 10-year-old boy who has no concept of the prejudice he has been indoctrinated into, and frequently talks & acts just like Jojo, serving as a sounding-board and a reiteration of the prejudice that Jojo will inevitably overcome as he learns that his mother Rosie (Johansson) is harboring a young Jewish girl named Elsa (McKenzie) in the walls of their house.  Jojo begins to befriend Elsa, and as a result his pal-like conversations with "Hitler" become more adversarial, as he confronts his prejudices while also realizing the hard realities and costs of war.

The movie toes a very thin line, as does any movie that deals with issues as sensitive as war, bigotry, and the Holocaust...while still fighting to be a comedy.  It's clear that Waititi had studied both The Producers and Hogan's Heroes before making this picture, as both are obvious influencers.  The Hitler Youth camp has the likes of Sam Rockwell, Alfie Allen, and Rebel Wilson all doing their best impersonations of Colonel Klink, and "Springtime for Hitler" is certainly what is informing on Waititi's performance.  But the movie is riddled with one-liners (they recruited an ace crew of actors who all have impeccable timing) and Waititi is hilarious.  Physically broad (there's also bits of The Great Dictator here), Waititi's work is a scream, with him playing Hitler as a scared little boy, but with always just enough malice that you can see the damage to Jojo's belief system that's being done by this war and the Nazi propaganda that's being forced onto his young mind.

The film isn't perfect.  Sam Rockwell's Nazi is too conveniently kind (it's implied to at least some degree that he and Alfie Allen's Finkel are in a clandestine romantic relationship), and we don't get enough of an examination of the cruelty of the Nazis (there's no obvious figure in this movie that you are supposed to hate, save perhaps Stephen Merchant's Deertz, and he's only in one extended scene).  There's also some "twee-ness" that you'll have to get over if you have allergies to such things as I do (the musical numbers have caught the most derision from people who disliked the picture).  But I generally liked Jojo Rabbit, and this is not my wheelhouse in terms of genre (Wes Anderson & Mel Brooks are people I get, but will probably never adore).  I'm going with 3 stars because almost a week after seeing the picture I like it more than love it, but know that it'd be a 3.5 star film if I did halves.  This could well be a Best Picture contender, so I suspect it was already on your radar, but don't let your friends' opinions inform you here-Jojo is going to be a hit-or-miss feature for film fans, but I think it will be on a lot of people's #1's considering the bold humor, strong supporting performances, and unexpected depth in the film's ending.  It's worth checking out.

Isn't It Romantic (2019)

Film: Isn't It Romantic (2019)
Stars: Rebel Wilson, Liam Hemsworth, Adam Devine, Priyanka Chopra
Director: Todd Strauss-Schulson
Oscar History: No nominations
Snap Judgment Ranking: 3/5 stars

It seems like critics or film watchers are always pronouncing the romantic comedy as "dead," just to be proven wrong the next year when another rom-com comes out and suddenly the genre has been resuscitated.  However, I think a certain kind of rom-com has in fact died, because each era sort of puts its specific spin on what we expect a romantic-comedy to be, a fact highlighted in Isn't it Romantic, a movie very steeped in 90's tradition, even when it's mocking the format.  The films that made stars out of Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, Meg Ryan, & Kate Hudson had pop songs, clumsy but approachable beauties, and always involved her with the wrong guy searching for the right one.  This is at the center of Isn't it Romantic, a cute but hardly groundbreaking film that, like the best of 90's rom-coms, gets most of its power from its affable star.

(Spoilers Ahead) The film centers around Natalie (Wilson), who is an architect at a firm where she's treated like an assistant.  She has a pair of best friends at her office, including Josh (Devine), who is obviously smitten with her, a fact of which only Natalie seems unaware.  She was conditioned by her mother as a child that love and romance were only for women that look like Julia Roberts, not who look like Rebel Wilson, and acts in a similar fashion.  When she is mugged randomly, she knocks herself unconscious, and suddenly the entire world looks like she's in 27 Dresses, with unnaturally handsome doctors, a gay sidekick who caters to her every whim, and a ludicrously sexy billionaire named Blake (Hemsworth) who finds her "beguiling."  Quickly Natalie comes to realize that she's stuck in a romantic comedy of her own, and the only way to wake up is to get a man to fall in love with her.  The problem is that the man she initially gets to love her, Blake, isn't the one she loves, and as a result she starts pursuing Josh instead.

The movie attempts to pay homage to the multitude of cliches from the 1990's/early-aughts rom-coms, even borrowing from the soundtracks of Pretty Woman, She's All That, and Legally Blonde to underline their point.  It works occasionally in making this happen.  Proving that Netflix is never going to elevate a mediocre movie quite like a theater, the audience at my screening really liked picking up on the in jokes, which actually made the whole film more fun.  The skit where Rebel Wilson, so close to getting to have sex with Liam Hemsworth, keeps getting denied thanks to the PG-13 rating imposed by her hallucination is hilarious, and one of several great site gags throughout the film focusing on the laughably over-the-top beauty of Hemsworth and Chopra (like, how do humans like this even exist?).

The problem for the film is that it has to basically indulge the same cliches to get Natalie and Josh together, which was of course the foregone conclusion.  The back-half of the film, where Natalie pursues Josh and then realizes she must love herself first, is a bit hackneyed, and doesn't have enough wink to it to plausibly be paying homage still to other such romantic comedies.  As a result, like most rom-coms of its ilk, the film is entirely dependent on the considerable charms of its leading woman to carry through the repetitive plotting.

This is a strong bet.  Wilson, known so far in her career for physical comedy and gross-out bits in her films, is right-at-home as a romantic heroine you want to be happy.  With a gift for comedic line delivery rivaled by few other actresses working today, she sells every good joke and patches over every bad one she's given.  In an era in desperate need of a new rom-com heroine, she's the best heir I've seen to Ryan/Bullock/Roberts in a while.  Hopefully after elevating Isn't it Romantic, which is pretty good, she'll be given the chance sometime soon to be in a Bridesmaids again where the film is running on as many cylinders as she is.

Everyone Needs to Chill About Rebel Wilson's Age

Lying about your age is something that you don't understand until you start to do it.  And then you sort of hate people who don't let you get away with it.  I am reminded of my age (which is somewhere between 27 and none of your damn business) on a near daily basis.  I get it on dates when inevitably the age gap (whether minuscule or less so) between myself and another fella comes up.  I get it when I have to check boxes on legal forms and online surveys and I want to gouge my eyes out because I have to move up a new checkbox.  I get it constantly from younger coworkers who think calling me an old man is hilarious.  All of this drives me batty not just because it's annoying, but because I really hate that I notice it.  People don't necessarily mind getting older (as the old adage goes, it beats the alternative), but I think you get a combination of losing value from those around you (like it or not, we all judge on age at least on occasion and it's not "just a number") and the fact that you aren't measuring up to where you thought you'd be at X age.

This is partially why I don't give any of the figs about the fact that Rebel Wilson apparently lied about her age.  She's hardly the first actress to do so or allegedly do so (I still think that Beyonce did, though part of me has to let that one go as I would assume someone as well-known as she would have had that exposed by now).  There are legendary performers ranging from Doris Day to Zsa Zsa Gabor who subtracted a few years from their ages without anyone knowing.  Wilson's persona and most successful schtick has been that she's playing someone in her early-to-mid-twenties, and she can certainly pass for 29 or younger, so this doesn't seem to be an issue.

I'm also fine with this because Hollywood is weirdly disgusting about women and their ages.  Look at the recent report that Maggie Gyllenhaal was apparently "too old" to play a 55-year-old's love interest, despite the fact that she is 37 in real life (anyone else think that the movie she was talking about was Woody Allen's Magic in the Moonlight...because my totally-in-my-head theory is that that was the movie).  If women are losing out on parts that they are in theory too young for, why not lie about their age?  Jennifer Lawrence has made a career out of playing parts that were seemingly too old for her (she smartly skipped all aspects of being a college-age human being at the movies, though I still think that she was clearly too young for her excellent turn in American Hustle).  Wilson's plummest role so far has been as Fat Amy in the Pitch Perfect films, a role that demands her to be 22.  This is hardly something that anyone can hold against her.

And quite frankly, who cares if she created a new name and a new identity for herself?  Do we honestly believe everything that comes out of celebrity gossip interviews anyway?  I suspect that most celebrities have lied in interviews, creating a semi-truth about a "friendship" or past indiscretion to make for fascinating television.  These people are not politicians or journalists-they're actors and storytellers.  Their job is to pretend.

I say this about Wilson also because something really tragic happens to actresses' careers at around forty, in that they start to disappear.  Women such as Renee Zellweger and Meg Ryan get labeled "ugly" or are shamed for actually aging, and then suddenly they cannot be in movies anymore, leaving fans flummoxed and without anything new to celebrate.  And I am most definitely a fan of Wilson's-she's a creative and fascinating performer, perhaps limited as an actress but dynamite as a comedian and celebrity.  She's someone that I want to continue seeing on screen, and not someone I want narrow-minded producers to pigeonhole because suddenly she's forty and that means something different for actresses.

And I think it is time to start realizing that ageism, like so many prejudices, exists, and is something we all perpetuate.  It's not just something we carry on by saying we're 28 when we're really 31, but also something we do when we assume that someone isn't going to have children if they're 35 or that someone is to be handled with "pathetic gloves" when it turns out that they're not married and no longer in their twenties.  And if someone wants to lie about their age to try and dispel this prejudice and gain a leg-up on their careers or gain more parts, who are we to judge?

Pitch Perfect 2 (2015)

Film: Pitch Perfect 2 (2015)
Stars: Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Brittany Snow, Ester Dean, Skylar Astin, Flula Borg, Birgitte Hjort Sorensen, Elizabeth Banks, John Michael Higgins
Director: Elizabeth Banks
Oscar History: No nominations
Snap Judgment Ranking: 3/5 stars

Acc-hello!  I spent most of Sunday viewing entertainment (hitting a Netflix movie, two movies in theaters, and then two crazy episodes of some of my favorite shows on the air), so we've got quite a few new reviews out this week, but we'll start with the movie that you're most likely to have seen this past weekend: Pitch Perfect 2.  The film went colossal at the Box Office, scooping up an impressive $70 million domestically, becoming the first sequel since Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me to out-earn its predecessor's entire run in the first weekend.  I'm hoping as a result that Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson were smart enough to ask for back-end cash.  However the question isn't just if it's popular, but if it's any good.  Shall we investigate?

(Spoilers Ahead) As you may recall, I quite liked the original film,  While the film was hardly high art, it was ridiculously fun, anchored by bravura work from Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson, and a totally crushable piece of boy-next-door from Skylar Astin.  Three years later, not much has changed and the girls we fell in-love with as freshmen are now back as seniors (never mind that almost all of the principle women are in their thirties or thereabouts, so playing 22 is a bit of a stretch).  The film follows how a wardrobe malfunction with Fat Amy (Wilson) results in them being banned from performing in the national tournament, and can only compete at the World Competition.  Throw in a German a capella supergroup to compete against (headed by YouTube DJ Flula Borg) and you've got yourself a sequel that looks an awful lot like the original.

This is probably where the film takes its hardest hits, but not in the way you're thinking.  The film is very much similar, almost to the point of earning comparisons to The Hangover franchise, to the original film, but there's enough territory here to mine that it actually doesn't feel awful.  The comedy is still relatively funny-you have the hilarious banter between John Michael Higgins and director Elizabeth Banks (who wouldn't want them to do an in-character DVD commentary...actually why is this not a thing, period?), the wonderful dork-a-tude of Kendrick and Astin, and the perfection that is Rebel Wilson, who can make literally any sentence funny with strong delivery.  Putting her with Adam DeVine's Bumper is wonderful, mostly because DeVine is one of the rare comic performers that can hope to keep up with her.  The music is all strong, and this familiarity, while potentially lethal if they wanted to make a third film, is still fresh enough in a second film to not feel tired.

The problem lies in the new elements, almost all of which fail.  Hailee Steinfeld, Oscar nominee, plays a fresh-faced Bella who has dreamed of her a capella future her entire life, but is trying WAY too hard.  She's got a fine enough voice, but when you compare her star charisma to that of Kendrick's or Wilson's it's not even comparable, and I feel like they could have found a stronger unknown to take this space, as it felt very similar to when Glee added new characters onto the show.  The same can be said for Chrissie Fit's Flo, who while admittedly funny at some points, wears a pretty thin welcome and borders onto the offensive on occasion.  David Cross, playing a bizarre Rip-Off host also falls flat.  Honestly, the only additions I found interesting were Keegan-Michael Key as Beca's boss, who has a hilarious series of interactions with Shawn Carter Peterson as his hapless hipster assistant and Flula Borg as the crazy-rapping leader of the arch-rival a capella group, who is so good I actually think he probably deserved to win the final showdown.  Also, Scott Hoying in Pentatonix is perfection, but he's onscreen for like twenty seconds and that's just because I'm in love with Scott Hoying.

All of this is to say that I liked this movie, but nowhere near as much as the original.  It has most of the spark and humor of the first film, but little of the shock and fails with the depth.  Therefore I'd recommend it, but only if you liked the original as there's nothing that's going to change your mind here.  At least those are my thoughts-how about yours?  What'd you think of this follow-up?  Are you all-ready for a Pitch Perfect 3?  Are you acc-excusing yourself from future installments?  Share your thoughts in the comments!

Celebrity Intervention

It’s been a long time since we’ve done a new recurring feature on the blog, and some of the recurring features I’m behind on (cough favorite TV shows cough), so I’m not quite ready to say this is going to be a recurring feature just yet, but I thought it would be fun to take six completely random actors who are not having the careers I think they should/could (or Hollywood isn’t giving them the careers they deserve-it cuts both ways, people), and give some unsolicited, friendly advice.  Each column we’ll pick three women and three men and for the moment I’ll resist themes with this work.  If you have other celebrities you’d like to see me give advice to, share in the comments.  For now, we have…

Rebel Wilson

What’s Working: Rebel Wilson came to all of our attentions with her hilariously infected tattoo in Bridesmaids, and has since become a favorite of most American cinematic audiences.  She’s appeared in Bachelorette and most notably as Fat Amy in Pitch Perfect.  She’s managed to transcend her newfound fame into hosting gigs for MTV, and for the most part is riding her fame relatively well.

What’s Not Working: I have never quite gotten what Wilson was trying to do with Super Fun Night.  Very few movie stars go straight from major fame in a film like Bridesmaids or Pitch Perfect and then do network television.  Even someone like Melissa McCarthy (clearly the biggest star on primetime broadcast television right now) was on her show before her fame hit its new peak, so she’s in a George Clooney/Jennifer Aniston sort of situation.  Wilson chose to go there, and with failed results-a cancelled television show has put a sheen on her bright future.

What She Needs to Do: Forget about television.  At best you should have done a sort of semi-documentary style HBO show about a comedian or something (something Ricky Gervais would have greenlit).  You are better off in film growing your comic brand.  Also, try to find some variety in your roles-don’t just do supporting or you will be typecast.  You’ve got some bankability, particularly with Pitch Perfect 2 set to be a big hit-utilize it.  Signing up for Private Benjamin was a great start (speaking of which-Melissa McCarthy would be a strong choice to play your Captain Lewis).

Darren Criss

What’s Working: Lea Michele may have been the initial star of the series, but once Blaine Anderson showed up in his adorkable blue uniform there was no denying the show had shifted over to being the Darren Criss Hour.  Criss is talented, bright, and has a legion of deeply devoted fans.  His brief stint on Broadway and sold-out concert tour have shown that he has the followers to cross mediums.

What’s Not Working: Glee’s over both in a pop culture sense and soon in a literal sense, and Criss hasn’t really utilized his fame to go into different mediums (to be fair, with the exception of Jane Lynch and to a very lesser extent Chris Colfer, none of these actors have).  Criss has only made one film outside of Blaine, and hasn’t even made a full-length album.  These windows of fame don’t last forever.

What He Needs to Do: I mean this in the nicest way possible, but the guy needs better work ethic and follow-through.  He should be doing a film every break on Glee-not just one.  I admire his willingness to stay involved in a number of charities and with this StarKids venture, but as a fan, I’m also objective enough to know that he should have more movies out by now.  I don’t fault him for the failure of Girl Most Likely (turning down a Kristen Wiig/Annette Bening project is a foolish thing to do), but he needs to start signing up for more film roles and for the love of pizza, finish that album and release it.  You’ve lost all of the momentum from your concert tour (it should have been done before then to improve sales)-at least get it done before Glee is out the door.

Michelle Pfeiffer

What’s Working: An icon of 1990’s cinema, she’s a three-time Oscar nominee and a celebrated beauty.  She’s proven in cinema that she has what it takes both to sell prestige (Dangerous Liaisons, White Oleander) and blockbusters (Batman Returns, Hairspray).

What’s Not Working: Seriously-what is up with her acting choices lately?  For an actress that once seemed certain to win an Oscar someday she has made just awful movies now for years.  Dark Shadows?  The Family?  New Year’s Eve?!?  I get that you may want to work with people you like, but can’t you also pick decent scripts while you’re at it?

What She Needs to Do: First-resist the urge to do a Ryan Murphy show (you know that the follow-up actress to Jessica Lange is not going to get the career boost that she got, and you shouldn’t play second fiddle), and instead get back to making a few films, risky films.  Get in talks with people like Todd Haynes or Quentin Tarantino and see if there isn’t a plum role out there for you.  And get to working-Meryl takes a role almost every year, and while not all of them are winners, her willingness and continued familiarity with filmgoers helps when a Devil Wears Prada comes along.

Taylor Kitsch

What’s Working: Taking on The Normal Heart was a smart decision and umm, you’re still dead sexy.

What’s Not Working: It’s really hard to headline a major blockbuster and have it bomb.  It’s harder still when every film you touch seems to go up in flames: John Carter and Battleship are two of the highest-profile flops to hit Hollywood in the past decade, and you happen to have been associated with both.  This isn’t an easy badge to bear, particularly because even when you’re a major player in a hit (Lone Survivor), you don’t get any of the credit.

What He Needs to Do: Return to television, first and foremost.  The True Detective rumors are a great start.  This will remind people why they liked you in the first place: you’re a sensitive, beautiful guy who can act.  Meanwhile, try to avoid the blockbusters for a while and instead go the indie route.  You’ve already “played gay” in Normal Heart, which is a pity because that would have been better for an Indy, but there’s a bohemian road film with your name on it out there.  Carpe diem.

Kaley Cuoco

What’s Working: She is the star of the biggest sitcom on television, and rumor has it she makes over $300k an episode for The Big Bang Theory (and that number could well be half a million).  Plus with her beauty and youth, she’s the best shot the show has at a major crossover actress.

What’s Not Working: She doesn’t seem to be working at crossing over.  I get that $500k a week is hardly something to sneeze at and she’d be a fool to leave the show right now, but Penny cannot last forever.  Her film career is almost non-existent (Jim Parsons, who has a much more limited appeal outside of Sheldon, has done far more with his fame from the series).  When the most significant role of your film career is playing James Marsden’s sister in a Russell Brand movie no one remembers, you need to fix that.

What She Needs to Do: Honestly, this one’s a bit more on Hollywood, but this girl was made to be a romantic comedy star.  She’s funny, charming, gorgeous, and insanely likable-where are the While You Were Sleepings and Sleepless in Seattles for her?  I think she could quite easily be the most underutilized star in Hollywood right now, and some extremely smart producer looking for a cheaper alternative to Emma Stone should find their way to her before the sheen from Big Bang starts to wear off.

Gary Oldman

What’s Working: He’s one of the greatest actors of his generation, and recently finally got that Oscar nomination we’ve all been complaining about him not having.

What’s Not Working: I get that we all want a lake home and a Lexus, but why is it that Gary Oldman keeps taking thankless roles in dumpster bin Hollywood blockbusters (note, I haven’t seen Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, but I hear it’s pretty good so I’m not including that yet).  Paranoia, Lawless, and RoboCop are not the sorts of films that he should be making right now (at least they’re not the only sorts of films that he should be making right now).

What He Needs to Do: Be a little less Johnny Depp (taking a career renaissance and making gazillions of dollars off his newfound respect) and a little more Colin Firth.  The iron is still hot enough that if he found his King’s Speech people would head his way.  Oldman should heed this warning: we all saw what happened to Mickey Rourke after The Wrestler…

And those are my pieces of celebrity advice for this week.  Do you like this column?  Do you want more of it?  And if so, what other actors should I advise?  Share in the comments!

Pitch Perfect (2012)

Film: Pitch Perfect (2012)
Stars: Anna Kendrick, Skylar Astin, Ben Platt, Brittany Snow, Anna Camp, Rebel Wilson
Director: Jason Moore
Oscar History: No nominations (Rebel Wilson did score a BFCA nomination, however)
Snap Judgment Ranking: 4/5 stars

Anyone remember last year, when Bridesmaids and The Help came out, and suddenly everyone was chatting about making female-centric films and how studios weren't going to leave women behind at the Box Office anymore?  You'd be forgiven for forgetting this, since clearly studio heads did-I know it's only one year, but you can't tell me that they couldn't have quickly greenlit more female-centric movies to counter the Summer of the Superhero (Iron Man and Spider-Man and Batman...oh my!).  Thankfully, for both moviegoers and Universal, Pitch Perfect was that sole counterbalance, became a hit, and is an insistently addictive movie that plays just as well on video as the big screen.

The film revolves around Beca (Kendrick), a college freshman who desperately wants to move to Los Angeles to become a record producer.  She's the child of divorce, and is too-cool-for-school, and you already know this character by heart at the beginning, as she's brimming with cliches, but thankfully the casting director had the foresight to hire the delightful Anna Kendrick as his chief player, who breathes life into this character where most actresses wouldn't have been able to find a unique rhthym for the character.  For starters, she's a complete nerd, something that Kendrick's performance revels in-she's into music mixing and has a penchant for singing, something that comes into play when the leader of a failed a capella group catches her singing in the shower and demands that she try out for her group.  Of course, the group needs her to mix things up a bit and bring the group out of the last century and in with the new, as the group's routines are staid and boring until Beca comes in and introduces them to mash-ups and stronger routines.

If this is sounding like an episode of Glee, but on the big screen, you might be forgiven, but unlike the Ryan Murphy series, this show isn't really about struggling with the hardships of high school and bullying-this is primarily about celebrating your place in the niche you belong in-Beca clearly revels in joining the a capella group, and like all of the characters in the film, is strongly confident in herself.  Her love interest, Skylar Astin, is an aspiring cinematic composer, and while his reliance on The Breakfast Club for inspiration seems a bit of a counter to the plot of the film (which largely seems to reject the idea of the 1980's as an artistic inspiration), Astin's adorkable character (seriously-where are these uber-cute and nerdy guys in real life?) is so easy to crush on, you forgive him his rather boring favorite movies.

While Kendrick and Astin are both great, the film, for anyone who spends longer than ten minutes watching, belongs to Rebel Wilson.  Wilson, whom you may remember from a bit part as Kristen Wiig's roommate in last summer's Bridesmaids, plays the randy and completely spontaneous Fat Amy (a name that she embraces rather than admonishes).  It's hard to tell where Fat Amy ends and Wilson begins, but you're going to be laughing so hard that you won't care.  Seriously-there were times when I'm certain I lost several minutes of the movie because I could not stop laughing at Wilson's ridiculously inappropriate one-liners.  Every time that she comes onto screen, you are inwardly giggling in anticipation of what is to come next.  Wilson, who is clearly an emerging star, will be interesting to place in upcoming films (as people will want her to constantly be playing this vein of character), but this woman has star charisma to the hilt and I cannot wait for what comes next.

The film does have its fault-not all of the eccentric side characters have the pure watchability of Wilson's Fat Amy, and in particular, Hana Mae Lee's squeaky-voiced Lilly's act wears thin really, really quickly and though it's always welcome to see John Benjamin Hickey (Beca's father) show up, Beca is too Gen Y and too self-aware to really be believed as an affected child of divorce.  But overall, this is a wildly fun movie with a soundtrack that you're going to want to instantly go out to iTunes to buy.

What'd you think of the film?  What do you think of Wilson's future as an actress?  And do you, like me, think Kristen Stewart would gladly switch careers with Anna Kendrick?