As of now, though, I wanted to write a little bit about some of the things I learned along the way of buying my house and moving into it. My friend Brian has asked multiple times "when are you going to write an article that isn't about politics or movies?" so this is partially to acquiesce him on this (valid) complaint, and as a result here are five things I learned while shopping for a new house.
I actually figured this one was coming when I first started buying my house, but was still unprepared for the fervor of people wanting to share their opinions about how and what I would purchase. People genuinely became offended, for example, when I decided not to go with their realtor of choice, even though I was picking mine for a very specific reason (I got extra money from him, so it made sense, plus our initial meeting went super well and he was someone who I could be direct with, which was important to me).
Everything, though, was on the table in terms of people having opinions on what I should do. When I went through my list of things I wanted from a house (my realtor said he'd never seen such an organized To Do List of what I wanted, which I'm still not sure was a compliment but I took it as such), I once sat through thirty minutes from coworkers saying it was either too much house or that I wouldn't find a house like this in my price range. I heard a lot of complaints from people telling me that I didn't need a fourth bedroom (jury's still out on whether that was a good idea, but I'm liking it so far), saying that I can always upgrade to my next house, but I didn't care. I sort of justified it saying "as long as it's within the price range of what I can afford, I can have exactly what I want" and had to eventually either stop talking to certain people until the house was purchased because the discouragement was becoming overwhelming. I feel like this is a subject that is pretty easy to share your opinions on (I'm sure I'll do the same in the future), but I need to remind myself not to judge what people are looking for in a home, as that's personal & will only weigh in on questions they're asking.
Because, to use an old TV Guide phrase, there is a "cheer within a jeer" here-when you need advice, you can find it. I needed to fix something in my garage, and somehow every person I know has a "garage guy" (if nothing else, I learned that everyone in my life has a secret cabal of handymen I was unfamiliar with until now). If I can't pick out a paint color, people will happily browse through the Lowe's site with me for an entire lunch period, perusing colors to put into my library. And people inevitably have an extra hose or lawn mower or area of expertise that they want to provide that you simply don't have yet, welcoming you into home-ownership. While the opinions on what I was buying were occasionally overwhelming, the help on actually living in a house was (and is) a godsend.
I still don't entirely know how this happened, but I ended up with everything on my list for roughly the price I wanted. I had watched Househunters and seen how people had to make sincere sacrifices in what they wanted, but by-and-large this had everything I wanted on my list: right bed/bath count, a fenced-in backyard, a two-car attached garage, and was in one of the four cities I wanted to live in (I wanted to stay in a swing district, okay?). All-in-all, it had it all, and I was (and am) very happy with my decision...
...but, like, I'm learning quickly there's no such thing as a perfect house. After living in an apartment for so many years, it's a weird juxtaposition to know that I can actually replace things I don't like in the house, which is a bit daunting. For example, after two quick uses I've learned that I don't like my stove and want an electric one (I have also learned that people have OPINIONS about electric vs. gas stoves), and hate my laundry room sink (it's too shallow for any practical uses). I don't know that in my entire 34 years of existence I ever thought that one of the first things I'd want to change in a new house would be a stove and a laundry room sink (the latter of which I've made it my entire adult life not needing), but here I am budgeting out what it would take to replace these items. I've also found that things that I didn't think I cared about at all I love in the opposite direction. I genuinely didn't notice the skylight in my bathroom until the day I signed the closing papers, despite having been there twice before this, and yet it's arguably my favorite thing about the house. You can get a moon view of the bathroom during the middle of the night if you time it just right, and you don't even need to turn the light on during the day. Plus, you can hear the rain as you sleep-it's lovely. The point is-even perfect-on-paper houses develop their own personality once you start living in them in a way I never really felt when I lived in a rented space.
I have now been living in my house off-and-on for a month, and consistently staying there for about two weeks. As a result, I'm starting to learn things that I never noticed or had become accustomed to in an apartment that are completely different in a house.
For starters, I never noticed how much sound and unavoidable light there is in my apartment complex until I lived in a house and there was none. Eleven years of apartment living (preceded by four years of living in a dorm) had given me a bit of a tin ear for noises in the neighbor's unit or outside on the balcony. I became used to the rushing of someone else's late-night shower or their laundry machine humming or the occasional "awkwardly loud romantic encounter" happening next door to me. Plus, the hallway light is always on in an apartment and your bedroom is inevitably next to a street lamp, so you never have your house properly dark at night. It wasn't that I lived in a particularly noisy or weirdly lit apartment building (I've lived in four apartments, and my last two were relatively quiet), it's just that there's literally no noise in your own house, and when it is it'll throw you off because there shouldn't be noise.
It's weird, too, because while I never really befriended my neighbors, I saw them all the time. We would get our mail at the same time, ride the elevator together, and for some reason there was always a teenager in my lobby, waiting in the chairs next to the mail (not the same teenager, mind you, but there was always one there for reasons I am still confused by-who are these teenagers, and why are they hanging out in an apartment lobby for fun?). This isn't the case in a new house. While I've run into some instances where I've spoken to the neighbors (and I occasionally have to step a few feet into their yard to mow the lawn which always feels like an invasion of privacy even though it's only momentary), it's bizarre how little community you have from not sharing the same property. I don't miss it (I'm an introvert and I like my space), but I didn't realize how accustomed I'd become to apartment living until I wasn't there anymore.
I am a creature of habit, and diligent about my list-keeping. Even now, I'm mentally making a list of which articles I want to write next for the blog when I have a few spare minutes. But in a house, the lists and projects never end. This was spouted off as a cliche, and since I loathe cliches I simply nodded politely, but honestly-I don't foresee a point where I will be satisfied with every aspect of my house at the same time, even though I intend to try. As I'm so new to the place, nearly every day I'm making a mental (or in some cases, typed) list of things I want to change, usually small things like getting a new shower caddy or putting up a picture in the bathroom.
I will admit that my mild OCD about wanting everything to be finished, or at least have a theoretical finish, made me worry that I would kind of hate this aspect of home ownership, but I've grown to love it. There's so much potential, and the house in many ways feels like an extension of my creativity in a fashion I have never felt before when it comes to design. My apartment decor was notable for, well, not existing, as I almost never had photos or personality in the rooms of my house, but now I have a vision of what I want the finalized version of the house to be, and while that will surely change as my life alters, I am staggered by how much I genuinely like taking care of the house and yard (with the exception of painting-I love the end result of painting, but I loathe and despise painting in a way that I didn't think was possible for a chore, and will either beg help from friends/family to get the rest of the house painted or save up to have someone do it).
Buying a house is sort of fifth or sixth billing when you think about achievements over the course of a lifetime. Marriage, Children, First Job-these are the headliners, and buying your first house, while a huge milestone, sits somewhere along the lines of losing your virginity in terms of "ranked" milestones in a person's life. That said, it's a huge milestone when you do it, and one that's particularly important to me in my life right now. I have been saving to buy this house for years, and been gearing up for this moment for so long that in many ways I feel like I've been looking at events in my life as either pre-house or post-house, and post-house stuff has always felt so far off, but now is blanketed before me.
For starters, I think that I will be getting a dog by the end of the summer, as soon as I can ensure I can afford it (expenses with a house is a completely different article, one I probably won't get to, but suffice it to say there were a bevy of surprises there too), and as a result I will be responsible for another living being for the first time in my life. Trips that I wanted to take (specifically one to Europe and seeing all fifty states) are toward the top of the list now as well, and I feel like I have a deadline of when I can start looking at retirement, even if it's thirty years off (literally that's as long my entire lifetime, but as "fully owning your home" is one of the checkmarks I know I want in eventually retiring, starting that process is a big deal). Even things that had little to do with owning a house, like going full-speed into my weight loss regimen or finishing the re-write of my novel, feel much more possible in a space of my own and more in reach. The idea that you worked hard to accomplish something and then it happened is a powerful tool to believe that other things that felt distant or improbable could suddenly become part of your life, and I'm excited to start conquering those realms from my new home.
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