2014 Predictions

It seems like everybody on the internet is doing something like this, so why not me?

20 Predictions About Politics

Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA)

1. Three women will decide whether or not Harry Reid is the Majority Leader next year: Mary Landrieu, Kay Hagan, and Michelle Nunn

2. New Jersey Governor Chris Christie will announce before the November elections that he is planning on running for the White House.  Gov. Scott Walker and Sen. Rand Paul will both announce in late November their same intentions.

3. Longtime Minnesota Democrat Collin Peterson will announce his retirement from the U.S. House, effectively giving the seat to the Republicans.

4. Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton will declare her intention to run for the presidency in December, after spending an inordinately large amount of time stumping for Democrats across the country.

5. Trying to preempt Hillary, Gov. Brian Schweitzer will announce his intentions on the White House before Clinton.  Sens. Elizabeth Warren, Kirsten Gillibrand, and Amy Klobuchar will all immediately endorse Clinton, while Vice President Joe Biden will not give any indication of his intentions until 2015.

6. No incumbent Republican senator seeking reelection will lose his or her seat, either in the primary or the general.

7. Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi will announce in mid-November that she will not seek another term as the leader of the party, starting an all-out war for the leadership dominoes that fall as a result.

8. The Democrats will do surprisingly well in gubernatorial elections, picking up 3-5 seats, including in at least one bellwether swing state that analysts will read too much into as a result.

9. Alex Sink will win the Florida special election by a miniscule margin, and both sides will declare victory.

Gov. Pat Quinn (D-IL)

10. Illinois Governor Pat Quinn will beat his Republican incumbent despite all conventional wisdom pointing to the contrary.

11. The DSCC will largely pull out of Arkansas in August, leaving Sen. Mark Pryor without any funding and destined to lose reelection.

12. John Boehner will let a scant immigration bill pass the House, all sides will shout success, and the margin of Latino American voters who go for the Democrats in November will be comparable to the 2012 elections.

13. Pundits will talk about the potential of a major third party or independent wave in 2016, and no significant independent will emerge.

14. Everyone in America will be sick of seeing ads regarding Obamacare.

15. Rep. Mike Honda will barely hang on in his race for California's 17th district, escaping the fate of Rep. Pete Stark in 2012.

16. State Sen. Wendy Davis, champion of the liberal left, will lose by just under 12.67%, barely besting Bill White's losing margin in 2010, and leaving Julian Castro as the great hope of the Democrats come the 2018 Senate election.

17. Mayor Mia Love will become the first African-American woman to be elected to Congress as a Republican, taking over for Rep. Jim Matheson in Utah.

18. Donald Trump will ultimately decide against running for the Republicans, but will continue to float the threat throughout 2014.

19. Despite the predictions of pundits, John Boehner won't retire as Speaker and will win reelection to a third term, putting Paul Ryan in a very awkward make-or-break decision between the White House and the Speaker's gavel in 2016.

20. Former Gov. Edwin Edwards will run for Congress in Louisiana and do much better than anyone expected.

14 Predictions About Entertainment

The charming, funny, and crazy sexy John Mulaney

1. When his show becomes a critical smash in September, everyone in America will claim they loved John Mulaney first.

2. Fifty Shades of Grey will manage to get an R-rating, despite the content of the books clearly intending for NC-17.

3. Will Gluck’s Annie will be critically-panned, and yet still score a “surprise” Golden Globe nomination.

4. Shailene Woodley will be hailed as a “breakout star of 2014” by major media publications even though she’s a Golden Globe nominee already and has already “broken out.”

5. Darren Aronofsky’s Noah will be protested by at least one major religious group, and box office analysts will be stunned when Christopher Spencer’s Son of God becomes the surprise hit of the spring.

6. Meryl Streep will get her 786^th Golden Globe nomination for Into the Woods.  Her costar Anna Kendrick will join her, setting her up for a second Oscar nomination in the next three years.

7. Cate Blanchett, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Lupita Nyong’o, and Jared Leto will all be sick of posing for photos together by March 2^nd.

8. Everyone will realize it was moronic to split Mockingjay into two films except the accountants at Lionsgate.

9. Christopher Nolan will receive his first Best Director nomination for Interstellar.  His fans will have made the film in the Top 20 imdb films within four days of the film’s release.  I will say the film looks visually stunning but has pacing and plot issues, and will spend 1/3 of the review complaining about lack of government funding of the space program.

10. Broadway, aided by a star-studded spring, will break box office records and watch Idina Menzel win another Tony.

11. (Truly random one here) The film that Jessica Chastain wins her Best Supporting Actress Oscar for will begin production at some point in 2014.

12. Twitter will burst when one major YouTube star (with at least 1 million followers) is arrested on drugs or alcohol charges.  Anyone over the age of 25 will react with the same response, “who?” when the story is inevitably covered on CNN.

13. Mariska Hargitay will announce her departure from Law and Order: SVU.

14. The year off for Pixar at the movies will be the best thing that’s happened creatively to the studio since WALL-E.