I ended up (correctly) taking Friday off from work, as while I didn't have some of the "hit by a truck" reactions that seemed to be so prevalent on Twitter, I definitely ended up with a headache, a mild fever, soreness, & most pressingly, near comical exhaustion the day after my shot. This should not scare you off-I tend to overreact to medications of all kinds-but the side effects (for me) ended up being real. That being said, I will be very, very, very happy to be done with this next week (I've never been so happy to have a headache in my life). I am a huge proponent of vaccinations, I think they are one of the greatest things that mankind has ever done, and that we have multiple vaccines that can prevent this, and get more people out the other side is a miracle. After a year of feeling helpless, like there was really nothing I could do but sit & wait for this to be over, taking the vaccine felt not just like I was doing something for myself, but like I got to be a part of a bigger cause again-that I was joining in the fight in a way that only a few marvelous front-line workers had been doing for a year. It feels like an honor & a duty to get it done, and there was a reason I signed up the second I was able. After months of sitting on the sidelines, I wanted to make sure to do my duty as soon as possible.
2. Trying to Understand the Other Side of the Mirror
Obviously, with the vaccination (and two weeks-don't forget about the two weeks!) comes opportunity, and a weird change of pace for me. For the last year, we've all adjusted, and we've all limited our lives to varying degrees. For me, I feel like I've been on the stricter end of things (and based on conversations I've had with friends & colleagues, that seems to bear out ), so this will mean a bigger change-of-pace for me than it might be for some. As a result, I have gotten raised eyebrows when I say "things are back to normal" but this might just be that I'm getting to other people's definitions of normal from the past year. For example, I will finally get to go into stores again, which I haven't done since November (as I've been doing drive-up at my grocery store).
However, this is through the mirror in a few ways, as based on CDC evidence, I am going to go do more things than what it seems some (not all) on social media are doing. This might not be a popular choice, but my thought process is that I have now gotten a vaccine not just for the greater good, but also for myself. And if the CDC is stating, for example, that you can travel (with a mask) or go to the movies (again, with a mask), I'm going to do that once my two weeks are up. I will also be visiting with other vaccinated friends (within their comfort levels) at my home or at theirs without a mask, since that's what the CDC is saying is allowable.
I know some have dismissed this & don't want to change their behavior, but I think that this is bordering in some ways on performative rather than science-based decisions, which has been an occasional risk this year (the hyper-sanitization stations might have prevented other pathogens, but it's probable they did little to prevent Covid this past year, for example). There is likely a lot of tension after a year of unknowns, and obviously we don't know what is in store. Several countries are in the ravages of a truly heinous new Covid wave, and in some ways it's a bit gauche to be discussing "going to the movies" in the face of such tragedy. In addition, we don't know if vaccine-resistant strains will hit places like India & Brazil, making us have to restart this entire conversation. But I also am aware that for some, there needs to be a time when you embrace the science for the good in addition to the bad, and restart joining society. This doesn't mean without precaution, but I do think there is an inclination in some corners of the internet to simply want to shame someone who is not doing what you're doing, even if that isn't based in science. This has been the case for much of the pandemic in terms of people being "not cautious enough," but I do wonder if we're about to swing the other way where people are being "needlessly cautious." The latter is less dangerous in terms of impacted human lives, but I think we need a reality check that it's going to be weird going out again no matter your timeline, but you're going to have to do it eventually. I also think before you shame people for following CDC guidelines, it's important to keep your own privilege in mind. If you live with nearby family & a spouse, your isolation has been very different than someone living alone or far away from their family, and I will be clear-your journey has been easier than theirs even if it was still hard. Keep that in mind before you start shaming someone for literally "following doctor's orders."
That being said, I am not going to be a jackass about it. I'll be wearing a mask & socially-distancing when in public, particularly around strangers, not just for my own self-interest, but also because in the era of Trump, the public trust has been broken. The people standing around me shouldn't trust, even if I tell them, that I've been vaccinated, and I don't trust them either. That's tragic, but we cannot pretend the past year & the actions of many Americans don't warrant this behavior. I also won't be going to crowded bars anytime soon (though I may well do an airport), and won't needlessly expose myself to people who I know are not vaccinated, which brings me to...
For me, one of the bigger questions coming out of this is around the "vaccine conversation," namely "have you gotten the vaccine?" I am a pretty open-minded person, but I'll be real-I don't have a lot of patience for people who haven't gotten the vaccine. There are three excuses, in my opinion, that are valid for not having the vaccine. One, you're not old enough-if you're under 16, that sucks, and hopefully we'll get you a vaccine soon, but obviously you can't get yours & deserve a pass. Two, there's none available, which is no longer an issue in the United States (you can get an appointment pretty much anywhere here, though obviously there are issues if you're unable to leave your place of employment long enough to get one that should be taken into account), but still an issue in most of the rest of the world. This is an acceptable reason, though you should be working on correcting it if you're eligible in your geographic reason-as I said above, it's our civic responsibility to get vaccinated as soon as we can so we can protect those around us (and ourselves) even if our situation puts us less "at risk" (since if you're having literally any in-person contact with people, you're in "some risk" until you're vaccinated). And three, if you have some sort of illness, either an extreme allergy or an immunocompromised system that won't allow you to get the vaccine...and for this one I'm only buying it if it's a conversation you've had with your doctor about this specific vaccine as it does feel like some people are using this as a cover even though I suspect their doctor would advise them otherwise (I say this as someone who has gotten bruises/rashes from vaccines before and am aware that "allergy" is a sliding scale when it comes to medication).
That's it-those are the valid excuses. Fear of needles, "not having gotten around to it," "don't have time," and any number of Facebook conspiracy theories, no matter how nice the letterhead is on the site you found them, are not valid. I think not getting the vaccine, and thinking you're "special" when we know you have to reach 80%+ of the population is selfish, and kind of unforgivable. This is not a thought I share often, as I'm aware others are more nuanced in their approach, but this is one of those scenarios that I don't have any patience. The science on the vaccines are clear-all of the four main vaccines (Pfizer, Moderna, Johnson & Johnson, and AstraZeneca) have been proven to decrease spread & susceptibility to the disease, and the longer you wait, the more likely it is that you are the person who gets it next (and potentially kills yourself or others by spreading it)...not to mention you could house a new mutation of the disease that would be vaccine resistant.
This does mean, though, that we're now in a weird area where we are going to have to find a way to talk about something uncomfortable (we are generally taught not to discuss medical issues in casual conversation) as part of our group hangs. Because I do want to know if I'm going to be not wearing a mask with a group of people if everyone is vaccinated or not-it will impact my behavior, since the CDC & medical doctors say it should. This could lead to some stigmatization (particularly if, like above, there's a valid reason you can't get the vaccine), but it's something I'm going to have to navigate. I am thankful pretty much every one of the people I hang with in real life have gotten their vaccines (even though not all are done yet), making this conversation easier; it's more a question of "when are you out of your window?" than "wait-you're not getting the vaccine?" But I do think that this is a conversation we need to be comfortable having, and if you are electively choosing not to get vaccinated, I think you need to understand that there's going to be a different set of rules that friends/family may have for you for their own safety. This is harsh, and not something I'm super comfortable with (it feels a little discriminatory), but it is our reality until we get to a point comparable to herd immunity. This is, of course, all the more reason for you, if you are a "need to get around to it" excuse person rather than a true "anti-vaxxer," to get the vaccine as soon as possible. Not only is it better for your health, but it's going to make the people in your life far less uncomfortable.
4. Anxiety about "Return to Normal"
Obviously, while I am following doctor's orders with my behavior, I am going to have concerns even after my two-week stint about returning to real life. I have been almost completely isolated for 14 months-that is a long time, and it's going to come with anxiety both from the shock of being in public with friends I haven't seen for a year (I will find myself having to genuinely adjust back to normal socializing), going on dates (I really hope the first guy I go out with is going to be forgiving of the fact that it's my first date in more than a year!), and returning to public activities like movie theaters, museums, & travel that I love. I'm aware that I will be returning to more normal activities earlier than the end of the pandemic, which in the US has less than 50,000 new cases a day (a huge milestone for the country), but that's still 50,000 people a day. This is also combined with cases in places like India & Brazil still experiencing unspeakable horrors from the pandemic, and of course the threat that a mutation could come out of these out-of-control pandemics that would make my vaccination status lessened or obsolete.
But I also am aware that simply waiting for a time when the entire pandemic is over is the wrong attitude to take, both personally & in general. I have followed doctor-recommended guidelines the whole pandemic, and am doing so now even if it's now them wanting us to be more willing to go out into the public. I'll still hold back on certain behaviors, but I think anxiety shouldn't be confused with "don't do it." I think the most important thing about this conversation is that you do what's right for you, as long as it's not going beyond the CDC recommendations (i.e. don't attend an indoor, maskless dance party with 500 unvaccinated people). If you still feel more comfortable wearing a mask outside, even if you're vaccinated-go for it. This isn't hurting anyone, and you're picking the wrong battle if you're going after a vaccinated person for this kind of (likely too) cautious behavior. The most important thing about anxiety is that you do it at your own pace, but that you have a pace or an internal moment where you feel comfortable. And that you get vaccinated.
Obviously this entire article is written from a position of privilege, and I would be callous if I didn't acknowledge this fact. This is a personal blog, not a news site, and as a result this is me talking about my own personal journey with "the post-vaccine issues." I'm aware that having the ability to decide what to do post-vaccine is something that many people don't have the luxury of right now. Vaccine appointments in the United States are starting to become much more commonplace (very easy to find in rural areas, somewhat easy to find in urban areas), but many Americans will have to wait until mid-June or later based on their current cadence to get through their "window." I know people outside the US who are still waiting for their vaccine eligibility to open, and obviously in some countries, it's not clear when people will be able to access vaccines, possibly waiting until much later into 2021 before that's an option.
I think the best approach to this is consideration. You should make sure and be mindful of your social media posts in the next six months or so when it comes to posting pictures of restaurants, movie theaters, & travel. I'm not saying don't do it, because I want you to be able to celebrate this after such a long wait, but be aware that not everyone on your feed can get the vaccine right now, and to be considerate of that (I do, however, think the public good of posting vaccine selfies is extremely worthwhile in terms of normalizing the process & pointing out to friends/family that you support them getting the vaccine, so do this as much as you can). Continue to reach out to friends/family if you have them in locations that can't get their vaccine (or if they're still in their window), making sure they feel cared about & still seen (that they don't feel "left behind" as the people in their lives move back into the world while they can't). You want them to know that you are ready for them once they get their shots, and that they'll have hugs waiting for them (and they aren't forgotten).
And lastly, I want to underline one last time-don't be an asshole when it comes to "vaccine privilege." If a store is asking you to wear a mask, wear it. Store clerks & small businesses have been through hell the last year-don't get snippy with them because they're still concerned with a pandemic they likely felt the brunt of more than you did. And be mindful of friends' wishes-if they only want you to spend time with them outside or wish that you'd still wear a mask indoors for a bit longer (especially if they have children in their homes who can't get vaccinated yet due to their age), you should respect their wishes & be grateful you're even at the point where you can see them at all.
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