35 Random Thoughts on the Tony Awards

This is not an optical illusion-Kelli O'Hara does indeed have a Tony

I'm sure all of us are both celebrating the Tonys (and the Triple Crown if you are so inclined) after last night, while still running agog about that scene on Game of Thrones, so instead of a cohesive take on last night's awards, I'm going to do a 35 thought rundown of what I was thinking during the night.

1. Is Something Rotten really just a Simpsons-style parody of a musical?  Or did we get the only number that it is like that?  Because I don't know if I would approve of that for a full musical, even if I liked this particular number.

2. The greatest mystery of the night: why was Dame Helen Mirren, arguably the biggest star to win all evening, also the first person to win a Tony Award?  Best Lead Actress should never be ahead of the supporting categories, and we ALL knew she'd win.  What's the deal?

3. Four handsome men tap-dancing out to end my speech would be something that would incentivize me to keep talking.

4. The Anna Chlumsky/Debra Messing matching dress thing was awesome and I wished they would have commented on it instead of just the awkward looks.  Also, this would NEVER happen at the finely-pruned Oscars.

5. What do you think Carey Mulligan and Patricia Clarkson talked about during the commercials?  Was it which one of them it's more surprising that she only has one Oscar nomination?

6. It took Alan Cumming 34 minutes to wear a dress...which is longer than I expected.

Orfeh and Andy Karl

7. Andy Karl, get out of my dreams and into my pants (it's the Tony Awards, you have to gay it up in the recap a little bit).

8. What role do you think NBC will find for now 2-time Tony Winner Christian Borle in The Wiz?

9. Is Taylor Schilling wearing a Rorschach test?

10. Annaleigh Ashford's speech was adorable.  I'd say this could help her in Hollywood, but I said the same thing about Nina Arianda a few years and that did squat.

11. Anna Wintour gets flowers, Chita Rivera gets a waltz, and Rita Wilson gets a dip while Tony Yazbeck adorably mimics Pharrell Williams from the Oscars a few years back...Broadway style.

12. Tommy Tune presents an award in honor of his Life Achivement Award since they didn't air his full-speech...hint, HINT Oscar.

13. Ashley Tisdale presenting to Vanessa Hudgens-ha!

14. I have a weirdly conflicted opinion about non-nominated musicals getting their own numbers during the show.  Partially this is good because as someone who doesn't live in NYC anymore I wouldn't get to see any part of Gigi even though I was curious (Victoria Clark, y'all), but mostly I think it's tacky for a show that relegates so many wspeeches to the commercials and pays little homage to the play categories.

Vanessa Hudgens

15. Do you think Leslie Caron is watching?

16. Joel and Jennifer Grey should have a reality TV show-I would watch that.

17. Uhh...the Fun Home/Phone Home bit was a little bit of a stretch.

18. Wait, Gigi and An American in Paris-why did they not get Leslie Caron to present?  I mean, if you get to call Marg Helgenberger a presentation-worthy celebrity...

19. It feels like Corey Stoll had a punchline but missed his cue.  Do they not have the presenters do a rehearsal at the Tony Awards, because for a crew that tries to get an audience to laugh eight days a week, it feels like a missed opportunity not to give them better material.

20. "Please recycle"..."Where are you?"..."that was the joke"...Ruthie Ann Miles was on fire winning for her Broadway debut.

21. Kristin Chenoweth's number was just...anyone want to fund a trip for me to go to NYC for a week?  I'll be ever so grateful!

22. Once again, a weird order for the awards-Best Play before Best Revival of a Play?  What's the deal?

Chita Rivera

23. Chita Rivera's number is going to be hard to top tonight.

24. Alan Cumming's weird recurring bit about Josh Groban was odd.  It would have made more sense to trumpet, say, someone who doesn't show up at every awards show he's asked, like Bradley Cooper, who is the biggest star in the room.  Speaking of...

25. L-O-V-E loved the bit where they talk about who would play the Broadway parts when they got to Hollywood.  Cooper getting his own role was the punchline, but the best bit was surely the pointed stares Alan Cumming and Kristin Chenoweth gave Harvey Weinstein.

26. I wonder whom Scott Rudin will email about his 17,000th Tony Award...is that a cheap joke?  Oh well, I'm sticking with it.

27. Nick Jonas has the personality of dry toast.  And let's be honest, if you subtract the body is not the hottest JoBro.

28. What is with the Tinkerbell interrupting Jennifer Lopez and the girl who looks like Kristen Stewart on Drag Race?

29. Bradley Cooper's mother-has she ever smiled?  Could someone find me evidence of this?

30. The Josh Groban fangirling seems especially inappropriate considering he was doing the In Memoriam segment...though the chorus of all of the Broadway singers in costume was cool.

31. Kelli O'Hara finally wins that damn Tony!  I am not like a wild Kelli O'Hara fan, but I got misty and sprung to my feet in applause-she's been waiting so long for this, and I was moved that the audience all knew it (the one standing ovation of the evening went to her).  She also knew just how to hit all of the bounces of her speech, including that great dance off-stage.

32. Even Kristin Chenoweth isn't believable as someone who is mad-she probably wanted O'Hara to win as well.

33. Neil Patrick Harris' locked box joke was funnier at the Tony Awards...and it only took 15 seconds.

34. Larry David was funny at the Tony Awards, going on a Seinfeld-esque rant, but he seems to be milking Seinfeld a lot these days (SNL did the same darn thing), so it's becoming less special.  They should have gotten Leslie Caron to present instead.

35. And finally-Jersey Boys?  Again?  Just end with Audra McDonald rapping every year instead.