John's 5 Worst Films of 2014

Every year I manage to avoid most of the worst films of the year, principally because I'm not a professional critic, and unless a film is about to be part of the OVP (which thankfully movies like Exodus: Gods and King and Transformers 4 were not), it's usually by sheer accident that I end up watching a truly awful flick.  Sadly, I didn't avoid it all this year, and while there were a few other films that I found underwhelming (including a good chunk of this year's Animated Feature Oscar category-that'll be a pretty blistering OVP write-up), here were the five worst (in alphabetical order).

The Giver (dir. Phillip Noyce)

For those of us who grew up with the book, it seemed like blasphemy to begin with.  But once you throw in a lead that looks like an Abercrombie model but has the personality of plywood, a plot that looks less like the original book and more like a Divergent fan fiction, and Jeff Bridges/Meryl Streep scenery-chewing to the hilt (we waited forty years and THIS is all we get from them finally being onscreen together?!?), you realize that it was less blasphemy than an abomination on the cinema.

I, Frankenstein (dir. Stuart Bettie)

Okay, so I saw it on a date.  That's my excuse for going to what, of these five films, was clearly most destined to be a truly awful experience at the movies.  But it's not my fault that the film couldn't at least see the camp value of Bill Nighy's overacting, instead making everyone around him seem like idiots for trusting a man who makes Vincent Price look trustworthy, and for making the entire movie a scene of badly choreographed visual effects and hamminess from lead Aaron Eckhart.

The Judge (dir. David Dobkin)

I'm not ranking the movies on this list, but I hated this film so much that it would almost certainly be at the top.  A wretched look at a father-son relationship, with absolutely no amount of empathy between the two so that the final courtroom scene (which you can see coming a mile away because this is a film that embraces every cliche it gets) feels like something you're begging to be over rather than a climax.  Robert Downey, Jr. has never been worse, and is starting to become Johnny Depp in terms of his onscreen laziness.

Rosewater (dir. Jon Stewart)

Just because the film deals with serious fare doesn't make it any good.  Jon Stewart's first directorial effort had pedigree and an interesting subject, but it also is insanely boring, relying on quick cliches and a completely black-and-white worldview that doesn't jive with what Stewart's been trying to accomplish on The Daily Show.  Worse yet, Stewart doesn't give us any insight to his personal views on the subject, which his show was a part of, showing a lack of guts cinematically that doesn't bode well for his future directorial endeavors.

Tammy (dir. Ben Falcone) 

It could have been funny.  Kathy Bates, Susan Sarandon, Melissa McCarthy-these are women who can act AND make you laugh.  Unfortunately the film itself is saddled with a poor script, never knowing what to do with its main character (is she tragic or just oblivious?).  Without any sort of jokes to rely upon, we're left with McCarthy trying to accomplish all of the humor through physical comedy, and even there she's too reliant on past memories of Bridesmaids and The Heat rather than creating something new for Tammy.

And those are my five worst films of 2014-what are yours?  Anyone want to defend these films?  The comments section is yours for the taking!