I have always had a number of passions in my life, but surely one of the most heartfelt and romanticized is my vision of the city of New York. I didn't actually go to New York for the first time until I was 26. I, had, however, loved the city for almost my entire life. I used to memorize the neighborhoods of Manhattan in a map I had found and randomly imagine what I would be doing on a Saturday night, looking at my small town bedroom and picturing myself on Broadway or the streetlight-soaked fountains at Lincoln Center. It had everything, and yet, when I was in college, and adulthood came upon me, I needed something a little more tangible. Not actually having the funds to visit New York, Sex and the City became the next best thing.
Sex and the City has been criticized for being unrealistic both in the ways that it depicted the city (I'm well aware that Carrie couldn't have actually afforded that lifestyle) and the way that it depicted romantic relationships, but for those who don't take things quite so literally, there was an overwhelming amount of truth in the show. You can see the struggles with career, friendship, dreams, and love all on display there, particularly for someone who wasn't married (or "married") like all of my friends. There was something very magical about everything in that series. I did indeed get to experience some of the highs and lows of what that show presented my life to be, and I did indeed get to have my dream of living in New York City, and because it came along so fully to me in late teens and early twenties, Sex and the City will always be a nostalgic joy for me. Here's a look at my ten favorite episodes:
10. "Four Women and a Funeral" (#2.5)
For me, part of what the appeal of Sex and the City is now, ten years after I started watching the series, is both seeing where my life went after the series (and what characters in that moment I ended up connecting with-for the most part I turned into a Miranda/Charlotte hybrid), as well as enjoying the episode itself. Here there's a combination-I love the looks that Miranda gets in this episode as she has to keep explaining while apartment shopping that it's "just her:" how often in your single life do you have to explain that you're out doing something by yourself, and you get a look of pity and confusion? This show is oddly spot-on in dissecting single life in a way that few other shows could ever hope to do (I love Friends to death, but it's hardly what you would consider realistic in how people address hardship). And then there's the deliciously funny way that Samantha goes through this episode, a social pariah after accidentally sleeping with a married man, only to be saved by Leonardo DiCaprio.
9. "Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda" (#4.11)
I don't know if this became part of the national lexicon after this episode or if it had already been there, but for me, this phrase would forever be linked with a slight head turn and Samantha's condolence/disapproving look. This is one of those rare episodes where there are actual fights between the girls over a serious topic (whether or not Miranda should have an abortion), and a legitimate look at the pro-choice argument and what Miranda/Carrie think when addressed with it face on (we learn that both Carrie and Samantha have had abortions in the past, in a topic rarely discussed on television even today, despite the monumental Maude episode being decades old now). A touching look into Miranda's inner checklist and Charlotte's dread that hers won't be fulfilled.
8. "Are We Sluts?" (#3.6)
Carrie's storyline is probably what gets this here-I love the spot-on self-doubt that she gets when Aidan doesn't rush to sleep with her, and the shock that he genuinely wants to get to know her before having sex. As I got older, I moved slowly into the Team Aidan camp, though I realized that's more projecting (Big was better for Carrie, Aidan was better for almost every single viewer watching in their own lives, including myself), and this was probably one of the tipping points: Aidan was a truly great guy. The three side stories when Carrie is the focus were occasionally hit-or-miss, but I genuinely loved all three in this particular episode: Charlotte having to confront her more-promiscuous-than-she'd-admit sex life, Samantha getting chastised by her neighbors over her sex life, and Miranda having to call her ex-boyfriends because she has chlamydia. All three stories were both eek! and hilarious.
7. "Shortcomings" (#2.15)
Of Carrie's one-off boyfriends, none were sexier than Justin Theroux, who was so cute that he played two different characters in the series (I have NEVER understood this and it happens constantly on television shows; aside from the creators being lazy and wanting an actor that they know can hit marks, are there suddenly a shortage of actors in New York?). He was much more memorable in this episode as Vaughn, the short story author that has a bit of a..."longevity" issue in the bedroom. I love that the show has Carrie realizing this is probably a good guy, but that she's really staying in the relationship because of his mother. Valerie Harper is terrific as the mother-in-law we all hope to have.
6. "Anchors Away" (#5.1)
I never know how to quite feel about this episode, which is not nearly as good as some of the other episodes on this list, but perhaps the best ode to New York City of the bunch. We see the girls each encountering "Fleet Week" in this episode, the week where you can see naval men all around the city enjoying the sites and doing military demonstrations (P.S...totally worth being in the city for). Carrie also has an utter love affair with New York, stating, "you're never really alone when you're here." So much did this affect me that as one of the last things I did before I moved out of New York was recreate the beginning of this episode, watching a film at the Paris theater, by myself, on a date with Manhattan.
5. "Hop, Skip, and a Week" (#6.6)
Here's the weird thing about Sex and the City that I haven't run into with some of the other series that we've profiled: occasionally I'm torn between a plot that I really hate and a plot that I really loved. While I always loved this show, there were times that the characters on it truly frustrated me. Carrie's relationship with Berger and the way that she treats him toward the end made me really mad-this was a guy that might actually work for her that wasn't Big, and the writers just pushed him out and made him a jackass (the infamous post-it note) in order to tie things up for the Mikhail Baryshnikov episodes. That said, there is no single moment that makes me A) cry and B) swoon quite like the time when Charlotte, so lost without Harry in her life, confesses that she doesn't care if he'll ever marry her (a happy marriage being Charlotte's goal since the series began), all she wants is for him to call her, maybe. He gets down and proposes, and Kristen Davis gets easily the best scene of her time on the series. Every unlucky in love viewer watched that episode and got a little bit of hope.
4. "One" (#6.12)
Another oddity for me and Sex and the City-I never cared for how it ended. I love that some of those last few episodes exist (particularly the extremely bitter-tasting "Splat!"), but this felt more like a series finale than anything else-Miranda, celebrating Brady's birthday, finally confesses her love for Steve in a closet (don't you just adore Magda's knowing glance when she catches them?), Charlotte moving on into a new chapter in her life, and Carrie starting a strange love affair with a reclusive Russian artist. All-in-all, this episode with some loose ends and some ends closed (Miranda and Steve were the couple that we needed to be together the most) would have made a fitting end to the series.
3. "The Good Fight" (#4.13)
The pinnacle of the Aidan/Carrie years, the good fight made Aidan a little less than perfect (his dog ate Carrie's shoes, he apparently uses Rogaine), but more to the point, gave Carrie a very realistic portrait of a relationship. Carrie is frequently insulted by critics (mainly male critics) for being selfish and petty, but the reality is that she was part of a long line of television antiheroes to pop up in the wake of Tony Soprano. This was one of those episodes where she was forced to confront those issues, that having the relationship she kept pining for meant that she would have to compromise in the future. It's a pity that things with Aidan couldn't last the second time around, but at least this time Carrie grew with the relationship in a way that the writers actually allowed to change her.
2. "Ex and the City" (#2.18)
All of the side stories are fine in this episode, particularly Samantha having her "Mr. Too-Big" encounter, but this episode is on this list for one thing only: Carrie and Big. Their relationship had hit its boiling point, with Carrie trying to deal with the fact that Big didn't want to "just not get married" but instead didn't want to marry her specifically (an extremely bitter pill to encounter when you love someone). The engagement to Natasha would be perhaps the most pivotal point in the series (it would shape much of the next few seasons), but there's perhaps no finer moment than The Way We Were doting in the restaurant, and Carrie getting to say "your girl is lovely Hubbell." A home run in every way, and the perfect sendoff to the Big story-if he had never showed up again, fans would have still been talking about him.
1. "I Heart NY" (#4.18)
Another season finale, we get two major moments in the series. One, of course, would be the birth of baby Brady, the only time in a show about sex where one of the characters actually had a child (Charlotte in the movie doesn't count), and Miranda welcomes a man that she cannot dismiss into her life. And then there's Carrie, realizing that Big would be leaving New York City (unthinkable!) and that this could be the end of both her relationship with her, and in a way, her relationship with the city, since Big had so come to define what New York meant to her. The ending, with her realizing that New York will go on for her, and that Big will live with her in her heart-perfect Sex and the City.
Those are my top ten-what are yours? Do you find that your own life shaped your view of Sex and the City? Which character "are you?" Share in the comments!
I don't know if this became part of the national lexicon after this episode or if it had already been there, but for me, this phrase would forever be linked with a slight head turn and Samantha's condolence/disapproving look. This is one of those rare episodes where there are actual fights between the girls over a serious topic (whether or not Miranda should have an abortion), and a legitimate look at the pro-choice argument and what Miranda/Carrie think when addressed with it face on (we learn that both Carrie and Samantha have had abortions in the past, in a topic rarely discussed on television even today, despite the monumental Maude episode being decades old now). A touching look into Miranda's inner checklist and Charlotte's dread that hers won't be fulfilled.
8. "Are We Sluts?" (#3.6)
Carrie's storyline is probably what gets this here-I love the spot-on self-doubt that she gets when Aidan doesn't rush to sleep with her, and the shock that he genuinely wants to get to know her before having sex. As I got older, I moved slowly into the Team Aidan camp, though I realized that's more projecting (Big was better for Carrie, Aidan was better for almost every single viewer watching in their own lives, including myself), and this was probably one of the tipping points: Aidan was a truly great guy. The three side stories when Carrie is the focus were occasionally hit-or-miss, but I genuinely loved all three in this particular episode: Charlotte having to confront her more-promiscuous-than-she'd-admit sex life, Samantha getting chastised by her neighbors over her sex life, and Miranda having to call her ex-boyfriends because she has chlamydia. All three stories were both eek! and hilarious.
Of Carrie's one-off boyfriends, none were sexier than Justin Theroux, who was so cute that he played two different characters in the series (I have NEVER understood this and it happens constantly on television shows; aside from the creators being lazy and wanting an actor that they know can hit marks, are there suddenly a shortage of actors in New York?). He was much more memorable in this episode as Vaughn, the short story author that has a bit of a..."longevity" issue in the bedroom. I love that the show has Carrie realizing this is probably a good guy, but that she's really staying in the relationship because of his mother. Valerie Harper is terrific as the mother-in-law we all hope to have.
6. "Anchors Away" (#5.1)
I never know how to quite feel about this episode, which is not nearly as good as some of the other episodes on this list, but perhaps the best ode to New York City of the bunch. We see the girls each encountering "Fleet Week" in this episode, the week where you can see naval men all around the city enjoying the sites and doing military demonstrations (P.S...totally worth being in the city for). Carrie also has an utter love affair with New York, stating, "you're never really alone when you're here." So much did this affect me that as one of the last things I did before I moved out of New York was recreate the beginning of this episode, watching a film at the Paris theater, by myself, on a date with Manhattan.
Here's the weird thing about Sex and the City that I haven't run into with some of the other series that we've profiled: occasionally I'm torn between a plot that I really hate and a plot that I really loved. While I always loved this show, there were times that the characters on it truly frustrated me. Carrie's relationship with Berger and the way that she treats him toward the end made me really mad-this was a guy that might actually work for her that wasn't Big, and the writers just pushed him out and made him a jackass (the infamous post-it note) in order to tie things up for the Mikhail Baryshnikov episodes. That said, there is no single moment that makes me A) cry and B) swoon quite like the time when Charlotte, so lost without Harry in her life, confesses that she doesn't care if he'll ever marry her (a happy marriage being Charlotte's goal since the series began), all she wants is for him to call her, maybe. He gets down and proposes, and Kristen Davis gets easily the best scene of her time on the series. Every unlucky in love viewer watched that episode and got a little bit of hope.
4. "One" (#6.12)
Another oddity for me and Sex and the City-I never cared for how it ended. I love that some of those last few episodes exist (particularly the extremely bitter-tasting "Splat!"), but this felt more like a series finale than anything else-Miranda, celebrating Brady's birthday, finally confesses her love for Steve in a closet (don't you just adore Magda's knowing glance when she catches them?), Charlotte moving on into a new chapter in her life, and Carrie starting a strange love affair with a reclusive Russian artist. All-in-all, this episode with some loose ends and some ends closed (Miranda and Steve were the couple that we needed to be together the most) would have made a fitting end to the series.
The pinnacle of the Aidan/Carrie years, the good fight made Aidan a little less than perfect (his dog ate Carrie's shoes, he apparently uses Rogaine), but more to the point, gave Carrie a very realistic portrait of a relationship. Carrie is frequently insulted by critics (mainly male critics) for being selfish and petty, but the reality is that she was part of a long line of television antiheroes to pop up in the wake of Tony Soprano. This was one of those episodes where she was forced to confront those issues, that having the relationship she kept pining for meant that she would have to compromise in the future. It's a pity that things with Aidan couldn't last the second time around, but at least this time Carrie grew with the relationship in a way that the writers actually allowed to change her.
2. "Ex and the City" (#2.18)
All of the side stories are fine in this episode, particularly Samantha having her "Mr. Too-Big" encounter, but this episode is on this list for one thing only: Carrie and Big. Their relationship had hit its boiling point, with Carrie trying to deal with the fact that Big didn't want to "just not get married" but instead didn't want to marry her specifically (an extremely bitter pill to encounter when you love someone). The engagement to Natasha would be perhaps the most pivotal point in the series (it would shape much of the next few seasons), but there's perhaps no finer moment than The Way We Were doting in the restaurant, and Carrie getting to say "your girl is lovely Hubbell." A home run in every way, and the perfect sendoff to the Big story-if he had never showed up again, fans would have still been talking about him.
Another season finale, we get two major moments in the series. One, of course, would be the birth of baby Brady, the only time in a show about sex where one of the characters actually had a child (Charlotte in the movie doesn't count), and Miranda welcomes a man that she cannot dismiss into her life. And then there's Carrie, realizing that Big would be leaving New York City (unthinkable!) and that this could be the end of both her relationship with her, and in a way, her relationship with the city, since Big had so come to define what New York meant to her. The ending, with her realizing that New York will go on for her, and that Big will live with her in her heart-perfect Sex and the City.
Those are my top ten-what are yours? Do you find that your own life shaped your view of Sex and the City? Which character "are you?" Share in the comments!
For more of my favorites: Girls, Pushing Daisies, How I Met Your Mother, Game of Thrones, The Office, Ally McBeal
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