Ranting On...Paula Deen

This is a hard one for me to write, and I'll admit it right up front.  With celebrities, you know that you're not getting 100% what they are putting out into the world when you start to fall in love with them and welcome them into your homes and living rooms and sometimes even your kitchen.  You expect the occasional drug-related incident or the messy, cheating divorce or that their political views won't quite line up with yours.  What you don't expect, and yet fans of Mel Gibson, Michael Vick, Chris Brown, and far too many others have experienced is a complete monkey wrench in your thoughts regarding them-a violent streak or a derogatory series of statements that completely upends what you thought about them, and leaves you trying to compromise the person you've been a fan of for so many years and the person you're now confronted with that is behind the persona.

I will state categorically that I have been a huge fan of Deen's for years.  I am able to read, and have a bathroom scale to prove it, so I know that her food isn't good for me, at least most of it isn't (occasionally she makes a salad or fish dish that leans away from the butter and could be eaten without a cholesterol test).  I have most of her cookbooks.  I know her husband is named Michael, and her adorable sons are named Bobby and Jamie.  I've invited her, along with Ina and Giada, into my Saturday morning clean-and-watch-the-Food-Network routine, and get a warm feeling every time that she sends me on my way with a "love and best dishes."  I've made her macaroni and cheese, some fruit slushies, and a delicious caramel apple cheesecake, amongst many other things, and she really introduced me to the Food Network, and gave me a different perspective on Southern cooking after I got interested in cuisine (for a while, only Patricia Wells, Paula Deen and a couple of old church cookbooks were amongst my culinary literature).  I feel like I've gotten to know her over the past many years.

The reason for this is simple, of course-unlike most other shows, culinary shows really invite people in to the person that is cooking in front of you.  Perhaps more than any television format, with the potential exception of reality television, we get to know a chef intimately through the stories they share behind the dishes (a recipe passed down by a great aunt or a favorite dish for their grandchildren), and Paula did this better than almost anyone.  Yes, occasionally the recipes got a bit ridiculous (that donut and hamburger sandwich still gives me chest pains) and she threw in one too many "y'alls," but she had a great sense of humor about herself, she made a connection with the audience, and she always had a great interest in the myriad guests on the show.

So I come into this debate with a lot of previous respect for Ms. Deen.  There is no defense for the hateful language that she used many years ago, and some of her statements since, particularly her talk about most jokes being based in stereotypes.  Additionally, if she did make comments regarding wanting an antebellum-style wedding (this I believe has not been confirmed by Ms. Deen, though it was alleged in the lawsuit), this shows an intense level of insensitivity that I wouldn't have expected from the southern chef.  I'm not going to say that she doesn't deserve to be fired-that's not the focus of this article, and ultimately I think that's between the companies and whether they see her as being successful in the future.  This is entertainment and business, and at the end of the day businesses need to do what is best for their company.

So I partially just throw my hands in the hair, and want to call this a wash.  If this were almost any other celebrity, I'd say "I'm done" and wash my hands of it.  But Paula and I go way back.  And so I'm not sure what to do.  Hate is not something that you can instantly do, no matter what talk radio demands of you, and so I cannot vehemently dislike someone that just a few weeks ago I enjoyed so much.

At this point, it seems the powers that be have made my reaction for me.  I never rushed out and bought her cookware, so the only avenues I have for Paula are her many shows and cookbooks, both of which have been shut down for the foreseeable future, likely forever (at least on the television front).  She'll inevitably end up on a Dancing with the Stars or Biggest Loser, but since I don't watch reality television, I'll probably only see her on the Oprah special or the tell-all book she'll write in a couple of years about all of this.

What she did was wrong, and I don't think that she should instantly be forgiven, but the extremes that this was taken to, with even her bestselling cookbook going the way of the Dodo, seems extreme, particularly when you compare it to the complete lack of repercussions of someone like Alec Baldwin, who made violent and homophobic comments on Twitter and saw no backlash (and GLAAD, with the wisdom of a two-by-four, somehow thought it was a good idea to use their website to host Baldwin's apology).  I know that Baldwin has a history of supporting gay rights, but Deen has a general history of supporting the African-American community as well, with her charities in Savannah, for example.

So I'm going to leave this with you to discuss.  Though I of course don't condone what she said, and our words should have repercussions, I can say without hesitation that I will miss the woman that I've welcomed heartily into my home for so many years, through her shows and cookbooks.  I hope that she gains a better understanding of diversity and takes this opportunity to learn more about the negative aspects of intolerance and how we can all play a positive role in creating more awareness and social justice.  Time may heal all, but knowledge cures all, so I hope she takes a little time to explore both.

Love and best dishes Paula, and good luck.