Glee: Diva (#4.13)

All right, we're going to be blogging this as I watch, which we've done before.  So, we start out with Kurt, suddenly channeling his Season 1 hatred of Rachel (the writers must have taken a coffee break or gotten distracted by a shiny object), and decided he will be taking her down.  No offense to Kurt (much love, and Chris Colfer, solid actor), but Lea Michele is kind of undeniable, and though the diva antics are probably a bit much, the girl is "once in a lifetime" when it comes to those pipes.

Anyway, this leads to Finn and Emma (still sans Will, and planning a wedding I just don't see happening) deciding it should be diva week, which means of course a turn to Beyonce, and apparently a catwalk with, oh my god, Darren Criss dressing like an extra from Moulin Rouge-this is both horrifying and awesome (and a little sexy, not gonna lie).

Kurt confesses to Rachel that he threw the first Diva-Off in Season One, which is true-continuity!  On Glee!  Who da thunk?

Holy crap-Darren Criss dressed as Freddie Mercury.  In the category of things I never knew I needed in my life but can no longer live without, this is it.  Emma, if you don't declare him the winner now, I will start cheering for your wedding to be cancelled.  While he's singing, may I just put in my 8,592nd gripe about how the Tina crush on Blaine has been overshadowed by the Blaine crush on Sam.

"Nutbush City Limits" is one of my all-time (ALL-TIME) favorite songs, and honestly if I were going to choose the most diva-esque song of all-time, it would be this one, so well-done Ms. Santana.  Still voting for Mr. Anderson in a biker hat, though.

Rachel as a diva, Kurt bullied, me wondering why characters seem to regress every episode on this show (this is going to be a snarky write-up, I can tell-we're only 17 minutes in, and I cannot say anything nice about anyone except Blaine and Santana-not a good sign).

At least Emma has her always delightful pamphlets, and yes, braggy Facebook status updates are the worst, aren't they (that German study Jon Stewart was mocking the other night had some validity in my opinion)?  And that sub may be almost 26, but umm, Cory Monteith is over thirty (a very comely thirty, no doubt, but thirty), so that seems like a solid matchup.

Only on Glee would you have a fight with a sing-off.  I cannot tell who is sexier through this duet-Santana is rocking out the magenta, and Sam, well, is Sam.

Tina, call Mike!  He's such a catch, and straight, and will make me hate you no more (it's bugging me that I don't like you anymore).  And B.D. Wong-classic.

Peter Pan from the Disney vault?  I suppose, but not one of my favorite animated films.

Darren Criss is so adorable while sick.  And anyone who didn't see Blaine falling asleep from the cold medicine has never once seen a television show.  And while there was a sweetness to the Vic's VapoRub moment, there was a solid dose of creepy there too-imagine if that had been a guy doing it to a girl, and you'll see what I mean.

Blood sport-hilariously terrible.  Come on people, Glee doesn't need, have, or have any hope of having street cred.  And while anything involving Lea Michele doing a Broadway number is a great thing, did I really need a reminder on the Hugh Jackman nomination for the Oscars?  Easily the worst acting nomination of this past year.  And while Kurt was good, Rachel was better-sorry, Lea Michele is just a better singer.  I suppose the show needs some drama.

The writers, using Jane Lynch to be both super honest ("don't you have jobs?") and incredibly racist (to the point where I think they've headed into 2 Broke Girls territory with her character)

All right, Tina's officially gone insane-having a diva hissy fit against Blaine over a crush he has no way of knowing about?  There's no coming back from this-she's officially joined Will and Marley as a Glee character I cannot stand.  There is nowhere this story can go that I will be able to enjoy it.

Seriously-I just have my hands in the air.  NYC over Lima, apparently, this week.  I'm now clinging to the NYC story, and can I just say that Lea Michele would be perfect in an actual Broadway Funny Girl?  I mean, is this her tryout for the much delayed Broadway production?  She's in New York now, after all, and if she wants an EGOT a Tony is the likely spot to start (actually getting an Emmy for Glee was probably the best place to start, but I just don't see her ever getting nominated again for the show).

I know I'm being a bit flippant, but the Tina story seems really, really sad for such a progressive show (and no blame to Jenna Ushkowitz, who I'm happy finally got a headliner story after being relegated to the sidelines for so long, even if I truly dislike the story), and this is the only part of this write-up I didn't pen live, so I'm hoping it's slightly less sporadic.  Ryan Murphy, who has done some really great things for gay people on television (witness Kurt Season 1, Kurt/Blaine Season 2 & 3, Lana Winters in Season 2 of AHS).  He's created fleshed-out, human characters that people can relate to, and that just "happen to be gay" for lack of a better turn of phrase.  And yet, he continually neuters his two gay male leads and tries to draw them into boxes.  Kurt is still a bullied guy, constantly standing up for himself and doubting himself, despite the fact that his father is a congressman, he's in a ridiculously prestigious school, has dated two super awesome guys, and has a wonderful set of friends who care about him and love him.  Blaine had a wonderful best friend in Sam, is wildly talented, Student Body president, incredibly attractive (and once even showed signs of a libido) and yet, with the exception of Kurt and a truly, completely out-of-character one-night affair, he's never allowed to actually date a guy, and barely allowed to be attracted to one.  Think about it-we've seen Blaine and Tina get more action together than Kurt and his new granola boyfriend.  It's worth noting that the writers allow Santana and Brittany to have a sexual component to their relationship (which also gets to be deeply complicated, and not always tamed down by their straight friends) in more than one "very special" episode, but why not Kurt or Blaine?  You can't call it progress unless it's truly equal, and saying a character is gay and making them sing show tunes and talk about shopping without at least offering up some element of their romantic feelings toward people of the same sex does no one any favors (witness also the asexual gender role comedy The New Normal).  A decade ago the writers of Dawson's Creek managed to find a way to make Jack fully-fledged, and also an actually gay man, and they aren't half as talented as Murphy is when he wants to be. It feels like the writers of Glee either don't know how to write gay male characters any longer, or have no interest in growing them in the way they have tried to do with Rachel, Finn, and Santana.  I digress, and remain a fervent viewer, but let the record stand that I'm not impressed.

The Emma freakout, finally helping this episode.  I mean, I feel for her, but this freakout is a real, excellent character development, and did Finn just kiss Emma?  I don't recall anyone writing "Crazy Week" on the whiteboard.  Seriously-this on top of the truly awful Tina crush story, we now have Finn pining after Emma?!?

Finally, a musical number that I can latch onto-Santana rocking out the Alicia Keys and heading to NYC to live with her friends (I have done that stare around the city getting outside of a subway station a thousand times, and it never gets old, so even if it's a cliche, I love it), and at least they ended with the best development of the week, in what has to be the weakest Glee of the season.  I'd even go so far as to say this may be Glee's "Stranger in a Strange Land" or "The Principal and the Pauper"-at the risk of hyperbole (some may say I'm too late there), this may have been the worst episode of Glee, period.

But what did you think-are you sharing my irrational reaction to the Tina overreach?  Are you as bummed as me that they disregarded the Sam and Blaine story completely?  Can you believe that the Will/Emma/Finn love triangle is now a thing?  Do you secretly wish that Blaine, Brittany, Sam, Quinn, and Finn would move out to NYC and we'd be done with the Lima story for good?  Share what you thought...on Glee!