The Opposite Sex (1956)

Film: The Opposite Sex (1956)
Stars: June Allyson, Joan Collins, Dolores Gray, Jeff Richards, Ann Sheridan, Ann Miller, Leslie Nielsen, Agnes Moorehead, Joan Blondell, Carolyn Jones
Director: David Miller
Oscar History: None to speak of, but you just know they were close, considering the film received a Best Comedy/Musical Picture nomination from the Golden Globes and 10-time Oscar nominee Helen Rose did the costumes
Snap Judgment Ranking: 3/5 stars

Do you ever have that moment when you're flipping through the channels, waiting for something to speak to you, and suddenly, there it is, a Turner Classic Movies commercial break?  My stomach lifts, and I don't dare hit the "Guide" button on the television, as I am so excited to see what film is about to grace my living room.  Maybe I'll watch it, maybe I won't, but I suddenly have the opportunity to watch a movie from start-to-finish as it airs live on television.  I found myself there this morning, and before I knew it, I had watched all of The Opposite Sex.

I am a little embarrassed to say how long it took me to realize that this was a musical-version of The Women, the classic 1939 tale of comedic bitchiness that you simply must investigate (it stars a Many Rantings favorite, Joan Crawford with one of her arch-rivals, Norma Shearer).  Let's just say it took until they went to Reno before it started to sink in, which is at least half of the movie.  This film doesn't boast quite that iconic talent, but it isn't missing star power when you have a cast list that features June Allyson and Joan Collins in the lead roles.  Unlike the 1939 original, Sex does in-fact have men featured onscreen, though they're more props (the hunktastic Richards) or dopes (the "I'll-go-where-you're-leading-me" Nielsen) than anything else.

For those not familiar with the original or the awful Meg Ryan-remake, the story is about a gaggle of women who gossip about their friends, and in particular, Allyson's Kay, whose husband (Nielsen) has cheated with Collins' Crystal.  Allyson is told of this news by her frenemy Sylvia (well-played by the glamorous Dolores Gray), and bitchy madness ensues as the women exchange men and barbs with a frenetic speed.  For any actressexual, it's a necessary viewing and you'l find yourself falling all over one character or another.  The ones that spoke most to me were Gray, the eternally pregnant Blondell, and in an extremely bit role Carolyn Jones (who, like she did in The Bachelor Party, makes the most of a small part).

I can't say that I loved either of the two leads, both ladies having names I'm more familiar with than their filmographies.  June Allyson is a star whose face I could have attributed to any number of other actors prior to this, and whose husky voice and onscreen demeanor are both traits to admire and pursue in other films, even if I thought her mousy character was a bit too wimpy for the lioness's den of women that she's dealing with; additionally, Collins, who has curves like the Indy Speedway, is fun to watch vamp it up, but also seems a bit out-of-her-element when she is trying to act sweet-it's hard to believe anyone couldn't see right through her.  And though this is a musical, it doesn't boast a lot of music-the only numbers come from Allyson (who is dubbed in one of her numbers despite her wheelhouse including an excellent singing voice) and two bizarre musical numbers from "guest stars" to the movie.  This is particularly upsetting when you consider that Ann Miller of all people is in this cast and never once taps, shakes, or croons, and that the musical is made from the greatest studio to ever churn out the song-and-dance routine, MGM.

There's more I could delve into (how much do you love Agnes Moorehead and how weird does Leslie Nielsen look before his prematurely grey/white hair set in?), but I want to hear from you.  What did you think of The Opposite Sex, and where does it rank in your personal rankings of the multiple Women films?  Did you have a best in show?  And with Allyson and Collins-what would you recommend I look into first to get the best showcase of their talents?