OVP: Kong: Skull Island (2017)

Film: Kong: Skull Island (2017)
Stars: Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, John Goodman, Brie Larson, John C. Reilly
Director: Jordan Vogt-Roberts
Oscar History: 1 nomination (Best Visual Effects)
Snap Judgment Ranking: 2/5 stars

Some films are made to be high art.  Others are meant to make money.  The idea that the two can't merge has always bugged me.  After all, many films that we consider a "classic" today were intended to be blockbusters of their era.  Look at something like yesterday's The Adventures of Robin Hood for a good example of a movie that combined commerce with art in its era, and is now regarded as a classic.  Then you have something like Kong: Skull Island, which unlike two of its predecessors (the 1933 & 2005 versions of the story) is not intended to be a "classic" of its filmic genre, but instead feels like an all-star cash grab, and something of a franchise-starter.  Indeed, it appears that Kong: Skull Island will have a sequel next year called Godzilla vs. Kong, combining the franchise with the recent Godzilla one, though with the anemic numbers for that franchise this year, it's hard to imagine that Warner is pumped about this 2020 release.  As is evidenced by how little story matters from one movie to the next, it doesn't look like any of the main actors in this film are actually going to show up for the next movie.

(Spoilers Ahead) The film is not exactly a retread of the King Kong legends about a film crew headed to Skull Island in hopes of finding giant beasts.  Instead, 29 years after two men are seen getting killed by a giant ape on Skull Island, an expedition happens at the tail-end of the Vietnam War headed by Bill Randa (Goodman), who works for a secret government agency called Monarch.  Headed by a Lt. Col Preston Packard (Jackson), he goes to the island and wants to prove the "Hollow Earth" theory correct, that there's a secret world within the planet that houses unknown creatures.  Also along for this journey are British Air Service Captain James Conrad (Hiddleston) and an anti-war photographer Mason Weaver (Larson), because you have to have a motley crew if you're going to pull together an all-star monster movie.  Once they get there, of course, all hell breaks loose.  Kong attacks the air units, conveniently leaving alive all of the actors we recognize and killing every single other one, and then retreats into the background, with Packard now obsessed with revenge but Conrad/Weaver both hoping to find an actual explanation for Kong.  They do, from one of the two men who landed on the island 29 years prior, Marlow (Reilly), who shows that Kong is actually defending the island from a series of creatures called "Skullcrawlers" who would destroy the people of the island (and possibly escape off of the island) if it weren't for Kong keeping them safe.  Weaver & Conrad try to convince Packard not to attack Kong, but to no avail, which results in Packard dying at Kong's hand, and then Kong having to take on the largest Skullcrawler before eventually emerging wounded but victorious.  The survivors leave, with Kong left behind, and during a post-credits scene Weaver & Conrad both learn that Kong isn't the only monster hidden beneath the earth's surface, and in fact figures like Godzilla, Rodan, & Mothra are among us, setting up the sequel.

The film is not great, and this is coming from someone who generally likes monster movies (genre bias is probably what's going to save this from being a 1-star film, so if you are prone to dislike monster movies, steer clear).  The Kong action sequences are really impressive-I get why this was nominated for Best Visual Effects at the Oscars, but the story is pretty tired and convenient.  We never quite stray into Michael Bay territory, but we come close, especially when it comes to the treatment of Jackson's character, who basically tries to get his Apocalypse Now on against Kong himself.  But the scenes with Kong, especially the air battle against the planes, is darn impressive, and might be worth checking out if you like big-budget action flicks.

The acting, though, is subpar.  You'd hardly know that the film features a trio of Oscar nominees (and John Goodman, no thespian slouch).  It's as if all of the actors in the picture just sort of decided to mentally check out, and give relatively forgettable performances, or at least ones that are over-the-top.  With a story that's pretty formulaic, you need some solid movie star work from the leads to ensure that we aren't just watching an effects spectacle, and none of them bring something special to the roles.  Jackson's at least trying with Packard, but can't ground him in any way to make him seem like a believable person, and the likes of Larson, Goodman, and Hiddleston are coasting on memories of better work and hoping you don't notice (but you will).  All-in-all, it doesn't feel like an elevated story like Godzilla a few years back, but instead more like a disposable 1960's monster movie, without the camp.  I'm part of the problem (I'll be seeing the next two movies as well because I love this genre), but I wish that Hollywood would try harder before even my die-hard love wanes.