Don't Doom Scroll Through the Election

A little over two weeks ago, I turned 40.  I had written an article to commemorate the occasion, but decided against publishing it.  It was too melancholy, and not what I wanted to put into the world.  39 was one of the rougher years of my life, coming after the death of my grandmother whom I had been very close with, I struggled to understand how I could work without such an important guidepost in my corner, and I developed some bad habits around eating, which made me even more upset.  I also suffered a number of setbacks, personal and professional, that felt really tough to me, and deduced that, as I approached 40, I needed to consider 39 the year of my "mid-life crisis" in order to move past it.  One year filled with a lot of regret that needed to be shaken off.

And so, on June 30th, the day after the best birthday party I've ever had, I dove head-first into the annual birthday list I do every year.  I always make a list of the 30 things I want to be true about my life in a year.  For 39, while I did achieve four goals off of the list (including completing my presidential library and fifty state projects, both major projects that took years to complete), and made progress on a number of others (nearly hitting the OVP Ballot Goal for the year, coming in 1.5 years shy...that one stung to not get to check off), this was the worst year I'd ever had with this project.  In some cases, I didn't even end up working on these things at all.  This was not going to be the case for Year 40, and so I have spent much of the past two weeks already working on these things.  I've made appointments for things that I have been putting off (in some cases, for years), and am working through projects every single day.

Part of my approach, because I do pride myself on being a list person who actually crosses things off of their list (Year 39 notwithstanding) is that I stick to two key principles.  First, everything on the list is important, and everything is equally important.  This isn't actually true.  Obviously, there are things that are on my lists (I've never counted them all, and honestly don't want to because I think it'd freak out my friends and families if I knew, but the big ones I focus on are a daily to do list, a monthly to do list, and the annual birthday goal list...many of which come from the end goal of a bucket list, which is a lifetime goals list...essentially daily, monthly, yearly, and lifetime are the Big 4) that are actual priorities.  Whether they be real-world priorities (like making sure I get a bill paid or scheduling a dentist appointment) where waiting has true consequences or self-imposed rules (like getting a Saturdays with the Stars screening included so I get an article out on Saturday), I do push those up if they have an actual ticking clock attached.  But otherwise, I try to treat everything as important, and as a result, everything eventually gets done-as long as I'm working on it, it'll be completed.

This is because of the other principle I stick to when I'm working through projects: all lists eventually get done, so if it's on a list, you need to stop worrying about it.  I have spent years perfecting the structure of how I approach my life so it's very methodical, and always moves forward (this is likely why I'm single...don't worry, I'm aware of that & fixing that is probably on one of the lists).  If it's on one list, it eventually gets done, even if it takes a while (in some cases, unfortunately, years).  I usually use the phrase from Finding Nemo "all drains lead to the ocean" in the sense that "all lists lead to me eventually finishing it."

One thing, though, that 40 is going to do that 39 is not is that I'm focusing on making sure nothing is super stagnant.  Looking at my birthday goals through the years, I am better about certain projects (ones involving travel, money, or this blog) than I am about others (like those involving my yard, weight, or creative writing projects).  Part of this is that the list is aggressive.  It's a year-long project, so you feel inspired to shoot-for-the-moon, but in terms of the sheer hours it'll take to actually achieve all 30 (which, to date, I've never actually done though I usually do quite a number and make progress on all...39 is an aberration in that way), it's in the hundreds, if not thousands...basically you have to work on it almost every day to actually achieve what you're shooting for.  But the other part is that some of these are things I'm putting off for a reason.  Not considering anything more important than the other has definitely improved my productivity & stress levels (it's how I don't get mad thinking about I might have 100+ things to do on all of my to do lists), but it also has made my productivity, well, a little unbalanced.  When faced with trimming my hedges or calling about getting my deck finished or getting to watch one of the OVP movies I have for the year...one of these is much more fun, and usually is the choice.  So at 40, I'm making a point of, while I prioritize what I feel like, I need to also actually make time for the things on this list I know I'm going to skip unless forced to do it.

Why am I bringing this up?  Partially because I feel weird I acknowledged turning 40 on social media, but not here.  Partially because I get asked about this a lot, and I like to sometimes give a personal update on a personal blog rather than just stick to our usual subjects.  And partially because the past two weeks have been exhausting for my fellow countrymen, and I'm not immune.  This is a really scary time in American history.  Donald Trump is threatening to upend American democracy, political violence is rampant throughout the country, and President Joe Biden does not feel up to the task of fighting both of these fronts, nor is he willing to step aside for someone who is.  This is really hard to process, and it would be super easy to wallow in self-pity, thinking about how terrible things are, and just doom-scrolling on social media for hours at a time.

But my advice is: don't (and this is advice I'm telling myself every day).  Even if you think (like I do) that Biden's chances are slim, they are not nothing.  We are four months out from the election, and a lot can happen in that time.  Democrats still do not know whom their nominee is going to be, for crying out loud, and we will just find out the GOP VP nominee today.  

Even if you think we are losing in four months, don't waste the next four months of your life.  There are things you can do in the meantime, of course, to make it more likely that Joe Biden (or whomever is the Democratic nominee) can win.  You can volunteer, canvas, make calls, and donate (please donate, if only a few dollars, if you can afford it-even if you aren't comfortable with donating to Biden right now, give to the DNC, DCCC, or DSCC, or any one of a couple dozen candidates running in competitive races for Congress or Governor...I can name them in the comments if you need suggestions).  You can watch the conventions, and talk with your friends & loved ones about the importance of registering to vote and knowing the truth about their candidates.

And you can also turn off politics-it's okay.  As long as you're donating, volunteering, and (most importantly!) voting, you're doing what you can.  I have taken social media off of my phone, and it is shocking how much happier & more productive I am (even if it's still on my laptop...not ready to pull the plug completely yet).  I have also given myself permission if my mental health needs to only do movie posts for a week, I'm not going to feel bad about skipping political analysis (though I have every intention of continuing to write about it here if that's why you keep coming back).  Look at your own to do lists, whether they be real-and-numerous like me or just in your head and do some of them.  Read your summer book stack, watch a movie in theaters, take up a hobby, or head to the gym.  The election will happen in November no matter what, and I am confident in October I will be panicking along with the rest of you even if it's not productive (and working my ass off for whomever is the nominee, which is productive), but it's okay right now to breathe.  It is not socially irresponsible to miss a news cycle, and it is not useful to just sit on social media (including TikTok) doing nothing.  Don't look at the next four months as a waste when we get to the election in November.  Instead, make your mark how you can...both in the political sphere and in your own life.  That's what I will be doing.