I Carry You With Me (2020)

Film: I Carry You With Me (2020)

Stars: Armando Espitia, Christian Vazquez, Michelle Rodriguez

Director: Heidi Ewing

Oscar History: No nominations

Snap Judgment Ranking: 2/5 stars

I will watch virtually any movie, and as a result I tend to not learn a lot about films prior to watching them if I can.  This is not always possible (movie trailers are a frequent pitstop when you see theatrical films, and generally that's how I wish I could see all movies), but I make a point of not knowing much about movies if I can help it.  Generally this isn't a problem for me-it in fact enhances the movie for me because I don't know what is about to take place.  However, there are exceptions to every rule, and I Carry You With Me, a well-reviewed film that has been circulating around the festival circuit for the last year is that exception, a movie that totally upended my expectations...and I didn't like it.

(Spoilers Ahead) The movie is about two young gay men, who meet & fall in love in Mexico.  One is Ivan (Espititia), who is a promising young chef, and the other is Gerardo (Vazquez), a teacher.  They eventually escape into the United States, making a home for themselves (first Ivan, then Gerardo), but are constantly pulled back to their home country of Mexico, and the families that they left behind, including Ivan's son.

It is at this point that we encounter something unusual.  Two-thirds of the way through a movie that has been acted by actors playing a part, the film becomes a documentary.  The love story that preceded this portion was based on a true story, and these two men are still alive, and still living in New York.  They cannot safely leave the country without risk that they couldn't return, and so they haven't seen their family in decades.  Ivan wishes to return, and potentially start a different chapter, while Gerardo feels more content to stay where they are.  The film shows them at a crossroads, and it isn't clear how their relationship will endure (and in what capacity) if they decide to separate so one can return to Mexico.

This is not a bad idea.  American Animals a few years ago showed that you can successfully merge narrative film (not just recreations, but a proper movie) with a documentary film to create a successful, challenging insight into the documentary format that you might otherwise not be able to, but I didn't like it in this capacity.  The late act feels like a twist, and a cheap one-we have become invested in these actors' performances in a way you can't in American Animals (since you know the documentary is always there), and it pulled me completely out of the movie.  I became less-vested in the preceding performances, and the documentary portion (particularly the couple's struggles with where their relationship will go next) feels rushed, and not connected enough to what came before without more resolution.  This is an interesting experiment-I'd be onboard with Ewing's next picture as there's a lot of ambition in what she's attempting here, but I left the movie unfulfilled.