Men in Black International (2019)

Film: Men in Black International (2019)
Stars: Chris Hemsworth, Tessa Thompson, Kumail Nanjiani, Liam Neeson, Rafe Spall, Rebecca Ferguson, Emma Thompson
Director: F. Gary Gray
Oscar History: No nominations
Snap Judgment Ranking: 1/5 stars

I have always had a soft spot for the Men in Black films.  The first one was delightful, the second messy, the third convoluted, but Will Smith's performance in them remain the best thing he's ever done.  He can play a serious, biopic role as much as he wants to, but inevitably I'll prefer him here as a smart, star charisma superhero because that's what he's best at (Smith is one of those dramatic actors who thinks drama means less personality, and feels washed out-Jennifer Aniston is another actor who struggles with a similar condition).  I was curious, though, what this franchise would look like without Smith (or Tommy Lee Jones, for that matter) there to bring some sort of natural star charisma.  Still, if there's another actor working today who can match Smith's natural, likable star persona it's Chris Hemsworth, so I was willing to give this movie a pass.  Unfortunately, the movie continues the steep decline of the franchise since the delicious 1997 film, and considering the picture's box office, might well point to the end of a series that is clearly running out of ideas.

(Spoilers Ahead) The movie focuses not on Smith or Jones's agents (they are never mentioned, though there is a wink to their existence in Neeson's High T's office where they have a painting of them from the first film), but instead on two newer agents, a recent recruit called Agent M (Thompson) who finds the MIB after looking for twenty years, and Agent H (Hemsworth), a good-looking rogue who has started to indulge in alcohol and bad judgment.  The two are assigned to investigate two Twin aliens (Laurent & Larry Bourgeois, well-known French dancers who barely speak in the film), but discover as they're going that there might be corruption coming from within Men in Black headquarters.  All of this is happening while M is hiding a weapon she got after an assassination attempt that can harness the power of a star, literally blowing up planets with the click of a button.

The film's plot is ludicrous and unnecessarily repetitive, particularly since it's obvious from the get-go who the betrayer is.  Liam Neeson, other than Emma Thompson (the only human character that is featured from the initial franchise, and therefore, is above suspicion), is the only actor famous enough to make the double-cross work in a movie that is telegraphing a double cross almost twenty minutes in.  As a result, you're more than aware he's the bad guy, and so distractions involving the Twins or Spall's Agent C are pedestrian at best.  If you can't make the audience invest in a twist that's crucial to the plot of your film, you've already failed at like 70% of being an action-thriller, and MIB International decidedly can't sink this basket.

The other problem, though, is that the main characters aren't as compelling as the first three films.  Tessa Thompson & Chris Hemsworth are both fun movie stars, and have exhibited chemistry before, but it doesn't work here.  They banter, and it's fun because they're unnaturally beautiful and effortlessly cool, but it doesn't elevate the film and oftentimes feels forced.  Thompson's Agent M contradicts herself too often, being as John Mulaney puts it in his stand-up act "a busy businesswoman who only loves business" which you know the writers are going to say doesn't matter (despite it being the core ethos of Men in Black...there's at least one good joke between the two Thompsons about the organization's name that was by-far my favorite moment in the film).  Hemsworth is just doing more Thor here, with him trading on his supernatural human beauty and rakish demeanor, but not giving us anything concrete or distinctive about Agent H.  Making films rely upon the talents of movie stars is what made this franchise work in the first place, but the writers wrote a Will Smith movie for two actors who (while talented) are not Will Smith.  As a result, we get a snooze of a (probable) ending to this franchise.  At least Thomspon & Hemsworth have Marvel to rely upon to keep their careers afloat.