Friday, December 07, 2018

Top 10 Oscar Host Options

Well, that lasted longer than I expected it would.  Kevin Hart, whom any person with access to Google could have told the Academy was a poor choice to host an awards show that is primarily watched by gay men and the women that love them, has dropped out already of hosting the Oscars.  Every year it seems like the Academy struggles to be able to find appropriate hosts for this event, and while I'm not someone staring at the bottom line of the Oscars' ratings, I can tell you this doesn't appear to be that hard.  Without further adieu, here are ten options that would totally work for the Oscars' host:


10. Rose Byrne

She's funny, she's a consistent film presence who is totally recognizable, and she's weirdly under-appreciated.  A great recipe for an Oscars host.


9. John C. Reilly

He outranks Byrne by one because he's a former nominee & he can sing (has Byrne done a musical yet?).  But honestly-they'd be really good cohosts if they wanted to go down that route.


8. John Mulaney

The only reason he's so low on this list is because he's not quite famous enough to host the Oscars if we use recent metrics.  But he'd arguably be better at this than almost anyone, and would be a great bridge to Millennials, as well as would be the sort of host (like Bob Hope, Billy Crystal, or Johnny Carson) whom the Academy could just keep going back to each year.


7. Tiffany Haddish

She might be reluctant to after her costar Hart had such a short run, but Haddish doesn't have the same sort of problematic history with her Twitter that Hart does, and quite frankly is the comedian who should have been asked to host in the first place.


6. Ryan Reynolds

Listen, Oscar-if you feel you REALLY need to hire some straight male movie star to host the Oscars, Reynolds is almost certainly your best option.  I'm not a fan of his, and even I see the clear appeal for him as a host-he's funny, biting-but-safe, and looks good in a tux.


5. Anna Kendrick

Hiring Kendrick you'd get the performance you were hoping to get from Anne Hathaway a decade ago...provided you don't screw it up and make her cohost with someone like Jonah Hill.


4. Whoopi Goldberg

JUST. LET. WHOOPI. HOST. AGAIN.


3. John Legend & Chrissy Teigen

Yes, they're not exactly movie stars, but let's be real-neither was Johnny Carson.  Everyone in America loves them, they'd be hilarious.  He'd sing, she'd crack jokes with every movie star in the first three rows, and we'd all have a blast.


2. Lin-Mnauel Miranda

He's a sweetheart who can sing, dance, and politic without offending anyone.  He's eventually going to be an Oscar winner so this should be a problem for exactly no one, and he makes everything feel fresh & effortless.


1. Maya Rudolph & Kristin Wiig

Their asking price can't be that much AMPAS-just pay the women and let's get on with this.  They're clearly the best choice.

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