Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)

Film: Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald
Stars: Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston, Dan Fogler, Alison Sudol, Ezra Miler, Zoe Kravitz, Callum Turner, Claudia Kim, Jude Law, Johnny Depp
Director: David Yates
Oscar History: No nominations
Snap Judgment Ranking: 3/5 stars

I didn't grow up with Harry Potter in the sense that many of my younger Millennial friends did.  While Harry Potter was something I was obsessed with as a youth, it was as a late youth-I think I read the first Harry Potter book when I was fifteen or sixteen (I can't remember if Goblet of Fire was out yet).  But, and I cannot impress this enough-I loved it.  It's become a boring cliche for someone to claim their adoration for the works of JK Rowling, but those seven books were full of imagination, wonder, and genuine intrigue.  Though it's been over ten years since the final book and nearly as long since the final of the eight original movies, that love is still there, and I still feel my stomach drop out when I hear the opening music of Fantastic Beasts, with James Newton Howard riffing on John Williams classic score.  But a lot has changed since I first stood on the literary steps of 4 Privet Drive.  Rowling has expanded her empire, but in doing so has created a world that feels a tad bit more generic, less specific than the creation she crafted so exquisitely over seven books.  While her politics occasionally feel a bit problematic (you can take her on from either the right or the left), it's the way that she's in many ways emerged as the Millennial George Lucas that is most troubling.  This is on full-display in Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, which is brimming with enough Hogwarts wonder that it's hard for me to dislike it, but even the most ardent of fans would have to admit that Rowling has taken a detour into uncharted territory: a decidedly muggle affair.

(Spoilers Ahead) The film takes place relatively soon after the last movie left off, with Grindelwald (Depp) being transported to a different prison while Newt Scamander (Redmayne) faces a potential ban on travel after the events in New York City.  As you might expect, neither of these go as planned with Grindelwald escaping (with a good deal of ease), while Newt is banned but ends up ignoring the ban with little consequence.  He is joined by his brother Theseus (Turner, who is about as ruggedly handsome as you get in the Harry Potter universe), who is the by-the-books sibling to Newt's nerdy rebel.  Newt is quickly joined by his New York City friends Queenie (Sudol), Jacob (Folger), and love interest Tina (Waterston), who initially dislikes Newt when she thinks that he's engaged to Leta Lestrange (Kravitz), who clearly has a thing for Newt but is with Theseus (can't blame a girl).

The picture unfolds in a weird way after this.  Rowling's penchant for thick plot is evidenced here as we get a lot of characters and information, including a few winks to Harry Potter readers (Nicolas Flamel finally shows his face to the delight of readers, while Minerva McGonagall gets a cameo despite being decades to young for this movie), but nothing really happens.  This isn't always a bad thing if you're looking at this as a miniseries-there needs to be down time to lay some foundation-but it feels cheap when you're shelling out $15 to see the movie that you get so little actual progress (just set-up) & that the film cannot stand on its own.  I complained about this with the last Fantastic Beasts, but the cast being all over the place in levels of intrigue certainly hurts the film.  Forget for a second the problematic aspects of hiring Johnny Depp (or the foolishness of putting him in place of Colin Farrell)-the real problem here is that Redmayne & Waterston are so blah as leading characters.  Even Ezra Miller fails to properly intrigue (what a waste!) and Jude Law, while charming and aware of the importance of filling such an iconic character's shoes, doesn't give us much in terms of Dumbledore other than pensive stares and mischievous smiles.  For the second film in a row, it feels like Alison Sudol's Queenie is in a completely different movie, she's so much better than the rest of the cast.  Watching her become disillusioned with a prejudiced government (that won't let her marry a muggle) and thus join Grindelwald is the best part of the movie, and also makes her the only character that would feel at-home in Rowling's original world.

But while the film itself is hardly impressive, I can't say I didn't enjoy it.  Your worst day in Rowling's world is still more fun that pretty much any other franchise out there, and it felt like going home watching Hogwarts emerge on the big-screen.  I let out a squeal the first time Flamel showed up, and was grinning ear-to-ear when I heard McGonagall proclaim "10 points from Slytherin!"  In many ways I wonder if this is how people feel about the worst installments of the Star Wars or Lord of the Rings franchises; you simply don't care because you got another shot of the drug, even if it's not as potent as it once was.  As a result, I can't go below three stars because I genuinely liked it and will watch it again in the context of the series.  My patience with Rowling's storytelling may be waning, but it's not gone yet and I'll be around for another go...though she perhaps needs to hire an editor who is willing to tell her "no" at this point.