Ranting On...Joy Reid

Joy Reid

I don't watch AM Joy, but I regularly enjoy Joy Reid's reports when I see them on Twitter and have followed her on that social media platform for a very long time.  I like Reid, as a general rule.  She's thoughtful and sincere, a passionate, albeit left-leaning journalist who usually has interesting things to say about the events of the day.  In some aspects I question whether I want my journalism coming from someone who is very clear about her political beliefs, but I feel like I can suss through what is actual news from Reid and what is more editorial from her, as she herself is pretty clear in distinguishing the two.  As a result, I've been disappointed to hear about the homophobic tweets and comments she wrote a decade ago from people, but feel like that's genuinely not the person she is today, and accept her apology, which felt very heartfelt & real.  I am seeing, however, in the liberal communities online two things that are really bothering me, and I wanted to address them this morning on the blog.

The first is shock and eye-rolling over people looking at Reid's words and claiming it's "unlikely" that she doesn't remember them.  These people either don't have enough amount of introspection to realize how much their personal views have evolved or don't realize how pushing out a couple thousand words a day on a blog or through the media each day is an enormous amount of work.  I remember on The Ellen Degeneres Show one of my favorites bits Degeneres ever did called "Oprah or Noprah?" where she asked Oprah Winfrey if a show topic was one that Winfrey had done or not during her talk show, and watched as Winfrey herself couldn't remember actual topics she'd done on her program.  It's hilarious, but understandable-Winfrey did over 4500 episodes during the 25 years of her program, it makes sense that she wouldn't remember some of those or that they wouldn't be as memorable as Nelson Mandela or the "little red wagon."  In a more at-home reference, I'm currently working on backing up my blog on my computer, and in the process finding articles I have no memory whatsoever of writing and films that I have absolutely no memory of seeing, much less taking an hour out of my day to write about.  That Reid, a journalist and blogger for many years, has a similar experience should be no surprise to anyone who has created content for an extended period of time.

The second thing that people are surprised about is that Reid couldn't remember holding "these views," and I have a dirty little secret here-she wasn't the only one whose views on LGBTQ rights ten years ago would be considered shockingly derogatory by today's standards.  I am not an old man by any means, but have been openly gay for nearly 13 years, and in that time I've heard a slew of questions, statements or terms that would be considered instantly homophobic by today's standards.  I've had to call out dear friends who have used terms like "fag," "gay," "cocksucker," "queer," and "fruit," because it was what they grew up with, not thinking about what it meant for me as an actual person who had been on the hurtful side of those terms (rather than just a barb at a fellow friend or bro).  These people were not homophobic and certainly didn't mean these statements as a thing of hate, they just needed a learning moment, and when I told them what those terms meant to me, they stopped.  I have also had friends and family that (I felt) needed a more "progressive" attitude toward gay people and the LGBT lifestyle that grew into such an attitude over time who I think would be stunned to find out some of the more hurtful things they've questioned or tossed out through the years.  The reality is that the gay rights movement and the trans rights movement are relatively recent endeavors, ones that have moved forward at a shocking speed, quickly enough that if we met ourselves from ten years ago we'd be a bit flummoxed to hear the words that are coming out of our mouths.

I know this is the case for me.  While I don't generally use obviously derogatory language (bullying hits too close to home for me to really inflict that on other people), I'm positive that I have had moments where I asked questions or questioned the motives of people in a way that I would be ashamed of today.  I distinctly remember struggling with the concept of transgenderism as a Psychology student who was also learning about Gender Identity Disorder at the time (still in the DSM up until a few years ago, though it has since been amended), and am sure I drug my feet a bit on that movement longer than I should have  Growing up in a 95% white, rural community, I think the concept of privilege took a while for me to grasp as well.  We know what we have experienced, and when we are challenged on our worldview, it is not instantaneous that we change our minds.

The reality is that understanding human experience occasionally takes time, and what is "acceptable" or "liberal" for today's society is not what was 10-15 years ago.  That's a good thing.  In 2004, Sen. John Kerry was considered shockingly progressive for backing civil unions which would be considered conservative by today's standards, and four years later leading contenders for the Democratic nomination Barack Obama & Hillary Clinton were still both against gay marriage.  Now in 2018, all three are seen as leading supporters of the LGBT community, and Democratic senators in states as red as North Dakota, Alaska, and Indiana are pro-gay marriage.  Society is an evolving tapestry, and while we should always hope that it moves a little faster, to "cancel" someone just because they have lived in the past and reflected the views of that time is absurd.  We need to acknowledge that what was "acceptable" for one era wasn't right, but it was "how things were."  Joy Reid has evolved, and become an advocate for the LGBTQ communities, and that's what's important here.  Anyone who looks at her alleged comments on a blog ten years ago and compares them to her actions of today and doesn't want to see the difference is just being obstinate or has no capacity for self-reflection for their own growth and personal journey.